In the spirit of Frontiers jams and the Varsity Show, a tipster sent us the following image. We leave the rest to your imagination.
By
Bwog Staff on
Apr 29, 2007 
64 Comments
In the spirit of Frontiers jams and the Varsity Show, a tipster sent us the following image. We leave the rest to your imagination.
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64 Comments
@oh hay ~*~legendary~*~ post
@holy shit
@shit Oh… my science
@frontiersdropout i guess her front is unfit for science. and by science i mean egregious boning.
@holy shit helfand who knew that guy was such a sex machine
@Here: He’s all up in the back of HER envelope!
@hmm There’s got to be a “Back of the Envelope” calculation joke in here somewhere.
@facebook David Helfand: Man or SEX MACHINE?
@threadjack Columbia beats Penn to advance to NCAA Tennis Championships!
Why no love for the serve-and-volley set?
@haha lolwut
@this rules lolscience
@bahaha That girl is kinda hot too. What the fuck is she doing with him?
Although to be fair it does look like he mobbed her
@photoshop expert You’re all morons! It’s hand drawn. Anyone who’s spent the least bit of time with Photoshop can tell you that this was clearly done with the Helfand brush (introduced in Photoshop CS2). He wasn’t even in any of the actual pictures.
Nice try hoaxters!
@Lookie Look at the people on the left, the expressions on their faces – of course this is real.
AND IT’S FABULOUS.
@oh geez i wonder what is wifey will say..
@wow that crazed look in his eyes in the original photo gets me every time.
@zomg there's more http://host.planet4589.org/jcm/trips/06/calgary
http://host.planet4589.org/jcm/trips/06/calgary/PICT0093.JPG
@look at those... …astrophysicists dance.
http://www.planet4589.org/jcm/trips/06/calgary/index5.html
@pregaming http://millerinstitute.berkeley.edu/img/symp03picture22.jpg
@MORE MORE MORE http://www.planet4589.org/jcm/trips/06/calgary/PICT0127.JPG
@you people are retarded
hoaxes? photoshopping? what?
he was some nerd conference, was having a good time with what is obviously a group of equally nerdy people, probably had a drink or two, and was just playing around.
thats all there is to it. its funny. laugh. enjoy it. thats all
@rofl im in ur parteez
chewin on ur students
@rjt This is doubtless the winning caption.
@Sprinkles Best of Bwog. I doff my cap to thee.
@......... i…..can’t express how upsetting that photo is.
my brain can’t compute…..
so…. unsettling.
@nice photoshop in case it wasnt obvious…
beyond the out-of-place suit and how weirdly short helfand looks, if you zoom in on the beard/shoulder interaction its not that hard to tell this is photoshopped. he’s straightforwardly behind her except by the arm where he’s in front, and there’s what looks like some use of the blur tool near his beard – the shirt blue extends out to the left too far.
but it was nicely done, and its hilarious.
@interesting Could this be a hoax?!?!? I’m not an expert in such things, but it would great to have a few people like Nice take a very close look at this and determine whether we’ve all been had…
@nice photoshop =Helfand. Or possibly Darcy Kelley.
@HAHA 34 you dumbass!! Feel bad about yorself!
@research The photo was taken during a party in conjunction with the 208th meeting of the American Astronomical Society in Calgary in June of 2006. The bar is some place called Ilyxor, close to the hotel where part of the conference was being held. Evidence suggests that it was after midnight on a Wednesday night/Thursday morning, and that David’s dance partner is a third-year PhD student in astronomy at a major west coast university.
Quiver, ye internauts, at the power that doth flow from the fingertips of The Stalker.
@or... i guess maybe im wrong, and the apparent blurring is just a low quality image…
@that was in response to finding an apparent actual location & event
@this This photo seems to be from the same event:
http://www.planet4589.org/jcm/trips/06/calgary/PICT0128.JPG
@Just wondering If I told Helfand he had a beautiful body, would he hold it against me?
@also he seems completely overdressed for the occassion. i would have expected him in some hipster casual clothing.
@Marxist Does the shocked woman in the foreground remind anyone else of Margaret Dumont?
http://www.movieactors.com/characters/dumont.htm
@haha No, but Helfand does sort of strut around like Groucho.
@great reference.
@Caption Frontiers of Freaky
@HAHA winner!
@oh man this is why i love you, bwog
@OH DEAR GOD WHAT THE HELL. Please let that be a Photoshop.
@Insert [Insert GS creep joke here]
@try http://www.ytmnd.com/
@ytmnd? sorry im not up on my acronyms?
and am stupid…
@somebody should set a YTMND of this to that “Frontiers of Science” song and then send it to Bwog.
@I just google image searched David Helfand and this gem came up.
@FOR THE LOVE of all that is good….WE NEED AN EXPLANATION. This is by far the greatest photograph ever taken. So much to contemplate! Please bwog and anonymous tipster…EXPLAIN THIS!
@contestant helfand:dont mind me, im just chewing on your shoulder
everyone else: omg that man is eating her shoulder!
@hmm baby, my telescope is about to probe your back hole…err BLACK hole…
@pluto best. post. ever.
@correction I meant telescope…
@Contestant 1 Shake that microscope like it’s hot.
@hey i have an idea! everyone come up with a caption.
best one wins my adoration.
deal?
@You're all wrong! He’s giving her the Heimlich Maneuver! What a mensch!
@it's helfand grinding or something on a girl (student?)
@Hmmm Why, yes, the woman in the foreground does look rather surprised but I don’t know why this photo has aroused such feelings of HOLY SHIT THERE’S DAVID HELFAND GETTING HIS FREAK ON LIKE HE WAS AN EXTRA IN ONE OF THOSE MISSY ELLIOT VIDEOS CIRCA THE LATE 1990S IN HER GOLDEN PHASE.
@WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??
@oh is that august 6 or june 8? why cant we just be like everyone else and go date/month/year?
@its ok! she was a level 2 security threat and he was just padding her down to make sure she wasnt armed. david saves the motherfucking day
@no way. no way. can bwog elaborate at all on this?
@anyone know why theres a mariachi band playing outside?
i cant be bothered to go look myself
@AGAIN OH MY FUCKING GOD.
@Oh my fucking god.