Bwog noticed a link to a Craigslist post in the comments of the Cooking with Bwog article. The link brought us to an advertisement for Five Star Puppy Transportation, a canine shipping business that will “TAKE YOUR DOG DOWN TO FLORIDA IN A VERY NICE, ROOMY, AND SAFE SUV.” 

Sounds tempting! But how credible is the Five Star Puppy Transportation service? “I NEVER TAKE MORE THAN TWO DOGS IN ONE TRIP, AND I HAVE A HELPER THAT WILL SIT IN THE BACK SEAT WITH YOUR PET. DONT LOCK YOUR DOG UP IN A CAGE AND LET THE AIRLINES BANG HIM AROUND.”



But when finally convinced Bwog of the quality of the Five Star Puppy Transportation service was the owner’s side job: “I AM THE BBALL COACH AT COLUMBIA.”

Bwog called the number provided and it went to voicemail, the outgoing message in the voice of 2004’s ROLM phone messages. And though we don’t have any immediate (or foreseeable) need right now to transport a puppy down the eastern seaboard, when the occasion arises—and there’s no doubt that it will—our search for five star services is over.

– JNW