A common arrangement of the "B" suite

Survey your Carman double. Don’t let the stark cinder block and linoleum faze you—soon you too can cover your walls with cool kitsch. But in case you are daunted by all that space, or any other first-time conundrums, Bwog will answer your questions. We’re here to help, so ask away via tips@bwog.com.

Dear Bwog,

What’s the best way to arrange my Carman double? I want room to imbibe with the bros, but also a warm, livable space in which I’d be happy studying, snuggling, or sighing while looking out the window.

Sincerely,
Confused Carmanite

Dear Confused,

First realize that you’ve got it a little harder than your John Jay compatriot. You’ve got a roommate, which probably means compromise. Assuming an accord is struck, here are your options.

You’ve got two beds, which makes the ultimate question: to bunk or not to bunk the beds? On the one hand, if you bunk, you have 180 sq ft of open floor space. This space could be used for beer pong tourneys, or you could get a table and toaster oven and bake banana bread right by your bed. A couch would definitely fit in nicely. And of course there’s instant popularity: by bunking the beds, you can fit near twice as many freshpeople shuffling in place in your place.

On the other hand, there’s a whole lot of discomfort that comes with the bunks. You will both suffer from the movement and noise of clambering and fitful sleep. It becomes significantly perilous to reach the top under any kind of influence. Every trip to the bathroom, unexpected bedfellow, and fart will be terribly more invasive, and could potentially foster long-term resentment.

Since you can drink anywhere, but probably only sleep regularly in your own bed, Bwog endorses unbunked beds pressed flush against opposite walls, unless you are confident your rooming relationship can weather any passive agressive storm. At least give it a week before you rush to any hasty decisions.

Bed bugaboos aside, the desk orientation is key. To preserve floorspace, the door-side desk should face the window, with the other desk in line with the bed and the wall on the opposite side.

As far as creature comforts go, carpets are key. You can shake them out in the hallway (unlike bare linoleum) and they make your feet happy. The walls you must cover with clever things. Draw inspiration from past Carmanites, who spruced the place up with a rasturbated image (do it before you actually need your print quota), or a cool mural. Whatever you do, don’t settle for Klimt!

And call your mother!

Love,
Bwog