Only slightly less glamorous than our own correspondent.

What better way to understand the minds of the great than through a diet consisting entirely of symbolic representations of their lifestyles? Inspired by this article at New York Magazine, we decided to apply the technique to true greatness: relatively well known Columbia campus celebrities. Correspondent and celebrity connoisseur Rachel Deal lived a (short) week on the Peter Bailinson diet and reaped the rewards. 

Tuesday:

Since Peter is an RA (my RA) and therefore still on the meal plan, I decided to eat my first dinner inspired by Peter at Ferris. Unfortunately, all the tables were full (too early in the semester to order Seamless every night?), so I ended up at a table outside the room on Lerner 5 where CCSC meets. I ate a salad and an apple, and I took a picture of my meal, but I decided that maybe that was something Peter wouldn’t actually do (his Instagram has 0 posts, after all) and quickly deleted it.

I like to imagine that Peter unwinds after a long day by drinking wine and eating popcorn à la Olivia Pope, so I put on my dad’s ratty L.L. Bean sweatshirt (since Peter is from Maine) and drank Diet Coke (ugh, life’s hard when you’re writing an article that your RA will definitely be reading) and ate Costco-brand pop chips.

Wednesday:

I woke up late and decided to skip breakfast because I thought maybe Peter would be too busy with meetings to eat. I planned to wear my Bean Boots (New England!) but I realized I had forgotten to bring them back to school with me.

For lunch, I ate a salad and some tortilla soup at John Jay. For dinner, I tried the Indian food at Ferris. I then “de-stressed” again by drinking some “soda” with friends and eating a trail mix granola bar (I feel like Peter would like hiking).

Thursday:

I woke up early to go to a meeting (was chugging coffee during it) (I am basically as busy as Peter), and afterward I ate some Nutella toast and Cheerios at Ferris because Peter told me that he actually does eat breakfast every day.

Peter said he’s been eating a lot of Vine recently, but for lunch I was kind of in a rush, so I settled for some spicy salmon sushi from Café East. For dinner, I headed over to Hewitt (a more low-key atmosphere for a campus celeb like Peter) and had chicken tikka masala and a lemon bar.

That night, I hung out in my Carman double with a few pals (Peter was chilling in his own room only a few doors down!!). I listened to a little bit of Taylor Swift (My favorite song from 1989 is “I Know Places.” Peter, please text me your favorite, thx) before heading out to various late-night Morningside Heights establishments. I ended the night by chilling in the floor lounge with my friend from across the hall and scribbling something on Peter’s white board about wanting to drink wine with him.

Your life, on the Bailinson diet, via Shutterstock