Your RA probably spent some good time with a paper cutter and a Sharpie this summer to devise the best floor theme to truly Make It Your Home. “Welcome to Plimpton Community Blend,” where each name on the door is a fruit might add some color and comfort to the bare walls; “John Jay on Broadway” has Playbills at every door to aggressively remind each first-year that they now live in New York. But the real winner for most original floor theme goes to a floor in Schapiro (the number of which has been edited out of the photo), whose floor bulletin board boasts a true-to-life fetus made of tissue paper.

Will this floor come together at the end of the school year (which is conveniently nine months away) and have a metaphorical Res Life program of “giving birth” together? Does the fetus grow every month? Is the name tag on everyone’s door a mini-one month fetus replica? Or maybe this Schapiro floor is reserved for those on a pre-OBGYN track. Our decoration advice is to use the caution tape rung around the fetus as the floor’s condom dispensary. There is no better way to ensure safe sex than to provide a physical reminder of the consequences of unsafe sex at the fingertips of the condom beholder. But the bulletin board otherwise is pretty standard and full of announcements unrelated to babies, parenthood, or pregnancy. If anyone has any insight on the fetus stapling Schapiro Res Life, or has an idea for its name, please fill us in at tips@bwog.com.