The finished product

This week on Chopped: Bwog Edition, two fresh-faced Bwog staffers make the trek down to 113th Street to cobble together a meal for Senior Staff Writer Rachel Deal. Using only their wits and the contents of a sophomore’s fridge, photographer Phoebe Newton and another staffer present a recipe perfect for combating academic fatigue.

Even though we’re pretty sure Bwog doesn’t participate in hazing (note: it doesn’t), Chopped: Sophomore Slump Edition definitely seemed like a massive challenge right out of the gate. Thankfully, we stumbled upon some high-quality ingredients this week, and we’re proud to present a recipe that will help you power through your CC reading (or to satisfy your Thursday night drunchies)!

Today’s basket:

• A truly ridiculous number of garlic cloves
• Chickpeas
• Kale (Bwog does not condone the ironic wearing of “KALE” t-shirts; we just like leafy greens)
• Pasta
• Olive oil

Garlic-kale and chickpeas over pasta:

1. Scavenge for the necessary ingredients in the fridge, lamenting the fact that most of the best items are labeled “DO NOT TOUCH.”
2. Take out a large handful of garlic cloves and carefully smash with the flat side of a kitchen knife. Watch this for an example.
3. Place a pot of water on the stove and start to bring it to a rolling boil. Add the pasta once the water reaches a steady boil. Make a serious effort to avoid burning yourself. Almost burn yourself anyway.
4. While the water boils, pour a generous amount of olive oil into a saucepan to sauté the garlic.
5. Once the heat gets going, slide the garlic pieces into the saucepan and slowly move them around until they start to brown. If lighting is an issue, use the flashlight on your iPhone for optimal viewing.
6. Remove the pasta from the stove when done, and carefully pour out the water into the sink.
7. When the garlic pieces start to turn a light shade of brown, add two large handfuls of kale and pour more oil into the pan.
8. Once the kale shrinks down, add the chickpeas and more olive oil, because olive oil is fantastic for heart health and definitely won’t clog your arteries.
9. Carefully stir until the chickpeas begin to absorb the olive oil and garlic flavors.
10. After a few minutes of casual stirring and confusion about what “done” chickpeas look like, plate the pasta and add the garlic-kale and chickpeas.
11. Eat. Then brush your teeth, because really, that’s a lot of garlic.

Time: 15-20 minutes, depending how how confused you are by pasta measurements and gas-powered stoves (dish-washing required.)