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Apr

14

Dark Nights of the Housing Soul

Written by

everything is perfect
everything is perfect

7 days of housing in one picture

We normally reserve Dark Nights of the Soul for finals, which bring out the worst in all of us. But housing brings its own special flavor of nihilism and loathing to the (check-in) table. Straight from our seven days of LiveBwogging, we bring you the darkest highlights (lowlights?) of the housing season.

Stress eating:

  • Day 1, 11:54 a.m. – Someone munching a bag of swedish fish on the floor, looking worried
  • Day 1, 12:57 p.m. – The snacks suck
  • Day 1, 1:07 p.m. – Group of girls eating their feelings with shitty candy
  • Day 2, 10:38 a.m. – Is everyone stress-eating mr. goodbars?
  • Day 2, 11:32 a.m. – “You’ve been to JJ’s the last 6 nights. What’s up with you?”
  • Day 4, 12:02 p.m. – “We’re really excited for Carleton Armes, it’s really close to KFC.”
  • Day 4, 3:20 p.m. – Boy in the Cage is sucking on either a pacifier or a ring pop??

Housing makes you feel like trash and poop:

  • Day 1, 4:16 p.m. – [A Bwogger] took a short break to lie on the floor and feel like garbage
  • Day 4, 2:48 p.m. – PUBLIC SHAMING: Whoever is pooping in the JJ bathroom please stop!!! We can’t pee before regroup happens!
  • Day 7, 11:01 a.m. – “We got the lower lower east side of the dumpster”
  • Day 7, 11:04 a.m. – 11:34 – On the phone: “We have the shittiest suite…”
  • Day 7, 11:57 a.m.  – “What was your lottery number?” “Shit.”

Nihilism:

  • Day 3, 11:35 a.m. – “At this point I just don’t even want to do this.”
  • Day 3, 1:09 p.m. – “What are you picking?” “Probably nothing.”
  • Day 3, 3:29 p.m. – “Clear eyes, full heart, kill us”

Fallen standards:

  • Day 4, 3:15 p.m. “My expectation for housing was so low, I’m just happy being the one person who didn’t get fucked”
  • Day 4, 3:17 p.m. – Favorite thing about Watt: “it was the only option left”
  • Day 4, 3:48 p.m. – “I didn’t even want Claremont but now i’m excited about it!”
  • Day 5, 1:18 p.m. – “you excited to live together?” “whats done is done.”
  • Day 7, 1:16 p.m. “It was a tough decision between that trash can right there, which would offer better location and mobility, and Broadway. It’s 163 square feet.”

Nobody has their shit together:

  • Day 1, 1:58 p.m. – “Are you guys excited?” “Sorta.” “But you have so many options”… “Really?”
  • Day 1, 2:54 p.m. – “We didn’t get our shit together beforehand” -Fresh EC residents
  • Day 5, 11:16 a.m. – A couple of sophomore groups (who look like they just woke up) shamble into the lounge
  • Day 5, 11:57 a.m. – Wien Girl: “Yeah man I’m fucking stoned so ya know”
  • Day 7, 9:59 a.m. – “I’m really confused right now, I just woke up”

Just plain weird:

  • Day 1, 11:01 a.m. – Girl carrying baking soda around housing selection
  • Day 1, 11:21 a.m. – circle of sports girls are wrestling as we speak
  • Day 2, 1:19 p.m. – So stressed out girl brought a pillow
  • Day 2, 11:56 a.m. – Guy aggressively zips jacket and shouts, “Come on guys. The fuck”
  • Day 3, 12:07 p.m. – I hear extreme heavy breathing from within the cage?
  • Day 4, 3:09 p.n. – Someone screams “2066050” and then someone yells “FUCK”
  • Day 4, 3:13 p.m. – “WOAH WOOO WUUUUH”
  • Day 7, 10:14 a.m. – “We’re gonna ruin those people in our sandwich” – sophomores about the room in between their two rooms

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