Roar, lion, roar!

Whether Columbia is good at real sports is debatable, but here is a list of fake sports that Columbia would be good at.

  • Walking quickly through a wind turbine half-awake wearing nothing except a Canada Goose vest.
  • Elbowing your way through Ferris at peak dinner hour.
  • Sprinting across Broadway with 2 seconds left on the timer.
  • Stopping the subway door from closing, then pulling it back open.
  • Humblebragging.
  • Not sleeping.
  • Swiping left.
  • Pretending to be sober in front of a public safety officer.
  • Public crying.
  • Sunbathing on the Low steps in all black everything.

We still love you, Columbia football! via Columbia Athletics