Megan, post-thesis

It’s not often that we have seniors join Bwog as new staff writers, let alone stick around for the whole year and write some of the funniest posts ever to grace this site. But Megan Wylie is here to prove that it can and should be done, and to give some of the best practical advice we’ve seen this semester.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Megan Wylie, Barnard, History and Political Science, New York, NY

Claim to fame: Getting rejected from WBAR in an email stating they accepted 87% of applicants and being a last minute undergradical

Where are you going? Nowhere (sorry guys). I’ll be ‘finding’ myself this summer, interning at a lobbying firm this fall and eventually ending up at law school

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. Get to 1020 early so you can score the couch with peak visibility of the door. Furthermore, don’t bother going to any bar that doesn’t have a woman reading medieval literature guarding the door.

2. Speak up a lot in class and major in subjects you like, even if they’ll leave you jobless. I spent a lot of time doubting my majors but now that I’m graduating, I wish I could take six more years of classes in Fayerweather and find more books in the stacks that haven’t been opened since 1976. You may become a disappointment to you family of doctors but at least you’ll be able to rattle off historical facts at trivia night.

3. Don’t forget how to do basic addition like me, otherwise, you’ll have to cheat when you’re trying to figure out the tip at Community.

Bonus: You’ll never regret wearing a thong. This is the single most important piece of advice that has stuck with me throughout college

“Back in my day…” Tony was the bouncer at Mel’s and befriending him was the greatest accomplishment you could have.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: My TA gave me an extension so I could go to a funeral. I ran into him at 1020 that night and screamed: “I SWEAR I WAS AT A FUNERAL.”

What was your favorite class at Columbia? A tie between Rethinking Middle Eastern Politics with Timothy Mitchell and Islam and Medieval Europe with Adam Kosta. Special mention: Vampires with Gil Anidjar

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? I’m lactose intolerant but the past three guys I kissed were openly gay so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Whom would you like to thank? People who move my shit in Butler to the circulation desk–they keep me humble, my friends, my Bwog fam, and my partner in crime, Sean, for fueling my absurd obsessions since NSOP.

One thing to do before graduating: Join Bwog so you can meet great people, rant about your problems, and have at least one person tell you that you’re funny.

Any Regrets: Going to GW for a year, finishing my thesis after a bottomless brunch, killing the DSig fish.