-Now that you’ve declared your major, regret your decision for the next two years. Or, you could take the Yatrakis-approved path and concentrate.

-History does not teach lessons, says Brown professor Gordon Wood. Unless of course, they’re Biblical lessons, and the history is Biblical history.

-Lost on Lerner 5, we found a piece of paper, which led us to break GoldbergGate. We were so happy about our discovery, that we rewarded ourselves with an iPod Shuffle that we bought in a Lerner vending machine.

–Stephen deserves your romantic attention, and will probably get it, because of our superb matchmaking skills.

-An awkwardly-named mascot that does backflips and breaks camera equipment definitely deserved our attention.