In which staffer Mark Krotov gives movie suggestions for those who fear to venture off the 1, 2, and 3 lines.

AMC Loews 84th Street 6

84th and Broadway

RV
Remember how Robin Williams was really annoying in the confines of a hospital? Now imagine him trapped in an RV. Features hilarious sewage fountains.

Stick It
Dear producers of Stick It,
Thank you for making my life easier. I thought I would have to struggle to come up with something mildly amusing, but a movie that features rebellious teen gymnasts, team spirit, and Jeff Bridges writes its own punchilne.

The Sentinel
Film description:

A political thriller starring Michael Douglas and Kiefer Sutherland.

Film description by Janice Min, C ’90, editor-in-chief of US Weekly:

Finally! Desperate Housewives‘ Eva Longoria stars in a political thriller! Co-starring some guy named Kiefer Sutherland and some other guy named Michael Dougl…wait, what? Eva Longoria had plastic surgery? And Teri Hatcher made out with Ryan Seacrest? Scrap the Britney cover!

Also Playing:
Silent Hill
Scary Movie 4

Lincoln Plaza Cinemas

Broadway between 62nd and 63rd

Clean
In the Mood for Love‘s Maggie Cheung and 48 Hrs.‘ Nick Nolte in a movie directed by Cheung’s ex-husband? Count me in.

The Notorious Bettie Page
Every once in awhile, one gets the opportunity to be a fan of both indie films and gratuitous female nudity. Plus, this movie is far more socially acceptable (and tolerable) than seeing Basic Instinct 2.

Somersault
And if you want to feel very guilty for watching female nudity, watch this Australian film about a promiscuous 16-year-old who has to spend the night with strange men to survive.

Three Times
Three great Taiwanese films for the price of one!

Also Playing:
The Child (L’Enfant)
Tsotsi

AMC Loews Lincoln Square 12

68th and Broadway

Akeelah and the Bee
A film about a girl from South Central L.A. who wants to make it to the spelling bee. The movie is being promoted by Starbucks (though there are no Macchiato references in the film), which seems like a pretty smart promotional strategy for a multinational corporation, especially in light of Exxon’s problematic “we just made $8.4 billion in 3 months” advertising campaign.

United 93
Too soon?
No.

American Dreamz
Unexpectedly, the man to make Simon Cowell seem even more loathsome is none other than Hugh Grant, who is fantastic in this parody of:
A) The Bush administration
B) American Idol
C) Al-Qaeda
Yes, the director of American Pie has moved on from the screwing of pies to the screwing of the American people.

Inside Man
If you haven’t seen it yet, you have not seen the most entertaining movie of the year. More importantly, you have not seen the awesomeness of Denzel Washington’s fedora.

Also Playing:
The Wild
Friends with Money
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Thank You For Smoking
V for Vendetta: The IMAX Experience
Deep Sea 3D