This is the second post in the senior wisdom series. Read the rest here.

Ben Smith, CC ’06
Claim to fame: Star of 110th Varsity Show, Composer/Lyricist for V 111.
Post-grad plans: first-grade teacher in London.

Preferred swim test stroke?

Naked-back-stroke.

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1. If I don’t look at them, they can’t see me.
2. The West End was a powerful proponent of destructive cultural norms.
3. Sexual orientation is not a binary.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

I had this picture of me, my brother and sister, but after my dad kissed my mom at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, all of us reappeared!

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

The bake sale. The fucking bake sale.

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

My TA for L&R was SO hot, but uh…it just didn’t work out.

Which Prof do you think would be the best kisser?

Natalie Port– I mean, David Helfand.

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

In other words, what percentage of seniors at Columbia “lost” their promise rings?

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

Vegans don’t do oral sex.

Days on campus memory?

Oh shit…if I had only been there…

Regrets?

Not a one.