In which staffer Mark Krotov gives movie suggestions for those who fear to venture off the 1, 2, and 3 lines.

 

AMC Loews 84th Street 6

84th and Broadway

Hoot
A children’s film about endangered owls, corruption and crooked land development, produced by the paragon of political engagement and vitriolic rhetoric, Jimmy Buffett. He does the music, too.

RV
This certainly could be a commentary on the dehumanizing nature of vehicular transportation, but all of the jokes about poopy don’t seem to support that reading.

Stick It
When producers create a pornographic remake of this film about a rebellious gymnast, at least changing the title won’t be their biggest problem.

The Sentinel
A political thriller about corruption at the Secret Service. Remember when films about political corruption were considered escapism?

Also Playing:
Silent Hill
Scary Movie 4

Lincoln Plaza Cinemas

Broadway between 62nd and 63rd

Belle de Jour
Luis Buñuel’s 1967 masterpiece conclusively proves that Catherine Deneuve’s hotness in the 1960s was almost illegal.

Down in the Valley
Edward Norton’s first acting gig in three years? In which he plays a cowboy? In San Fernando Valley? And has an affair with a teenage girl? Oh, Ed, I’ve missed you so.

The Promise
A huge, beautiful epic film by Chen Kaige. With computer-generated imagery, because fightin’ by itself is just not hot enough.

Also Playing:
Clean
The Notorious Bettie Page
Three Times

AMC Loews Lincoln Square 12

68th and Broadway

Mission: Impossible III
You probably haven’t heard much about this one. Apparently, there’s some fightin’, some shootin’, and some lovin’. Oh, and some psychology denyin’, some false impregnatin’, and some goin’ totally apeshit.

Akeelah and the Bee
Winning the spelling bee is the new being a quarterback on the football team. Especially if your school is not getting federal funding and can’t afford a football field.

United 93
Paul Greengrass made a brilliant film called Bloody Sunday and an excellent movie called The Bourne Supremacy. So please don’t preemptively hate on his dramatic recreation of Flight 93. Because then the terrorists have won.

American Dreamz
I guess I’m the only one who thought this was funny, but I’m sticking to my guns. Mandy Moore as an egotiscal, crazily driven pop star? Always amusing.

Inside Man
Yes, this is still playing, and yes, you should still see it because it’s wonderful, and because the more money Spike Lee makes with this film, the more money he’ll have to make provocative, controversial movies that will lose money.

Also Playing:
Friends with Money
Ice Age: The Meltdown
Thank You For Smoking
Deep Sea 3D