As if there weren’t already enough drama on campus this weekend, a few evenings ago auditions were held for the new Columbia/CTV soap opera, entitled The Gates.  As expected, Bwog tried out—and was deferred.  “The thing is,” said the writer/director in an email, “even though there are about 25-30 characters in the season, only about 10 of them appear in the pilot episode. We’d love to work with you, but right now the parts we have in mind haven’t been fully written / fleshed out yet.”



Sounds like a cop-out rejection to us, but we’re keeping our fingers crossed.  Maybe we’re just not soap opera material?  For now, details of the show are fuzzy—we only know about the parts that we won’t be getting.  The pilot episode begins with two roommates—one jockish, soon-to-be frat brother, and one quiet, sensitive Buddhist introvert—meeting for the first time freshman year.  How will it work out?  They’re so different!  Oh no, the drama! Other characters include assorted frat brothers, a girl who was described to us as the “stereotypical Asian lesbian,” and another whose only known attribute is her tendency to discuss great works of art while performing fellatio.  Overheard in callbacks:

Do I have to go through all the motions?

No.  You can just sort of…you know…stand there.