42 Comments
JJ’s-devotees were certainly in a shock this fall. Sure from a cursory glance, JJ’s looks great! So many frozen meals! So much ice cream!
However, once you stepped up to that familiar counter, a perennial favorite was missing- the spicy chicken! The spicy strips of chicken breast were deep-fried to a tender and moist perfection. Great with any dipping sauce, or even on its own. Few items on the JJ’s menu could compete with such a culinary delight.
When asked, the JJ’s employees could not provide any details on the disappearance of such a widely-demanded item. One employee admitted, “Yeah a lot of people have been asking for it,” but denied any involvement with the sudden departure, “[The decision] comes from the higher-ups.”
Alas! Do not lose all hope, one inside source suggested that a petition may revive this Columbia cornerstone. We can only hope.
-LT
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42 Comments
@C""K LT you can’t refer to yourself as an “inside source”
@stfu damn all you grammer po-lice policing the interwebz and shit
@Grammar Police^2 That sentence is a fragment so the whole thing is grammatically incorrect. Moreover, neither “its own” nor “it’s own” agree with the antecedent in number. You were looking for “their own”.
University Writing much?
@Student Gvmts have some members who have a major problem with it. We’ll eventually find the Spicy Chicken, fear not!
@GRILLED CHEESE Well, I don’t know what all that was about, but JJ’s still has GRILLED CHEESE!
@Gross this conversation is just slightly messed up.
but we’re missing an important thing here
Why is student government in such a hurry to breathlessly publish irrelevant statements on Mahmoud, but not investigating this domestic travesty?? dereliction of duty!! Impeach Diamond and her worthless cabal!
@Narrator Yet even in his weakened state, Spicy was not vanquished. He would return.
But without Student there to stop him, what then?
For that, we will have to wait.
@Student On the contrary. I’ve never felt so alive. I may even venture away from my computer—and not just to go down to JJs, but to go OUTSIDE!
YES! YES I WILL!
As god is my witness, I’ll never stay on Bwog this long again!
@Spicy Chicken Getting—dizzy, Growing—weaker,
@Student Did wow say we’re the same person?
@Spicy Chicken Wait a minute.
@Student Don’t try to get cute, Spicy! You’re going to pay me in deliciousness!
@wow. Spicy Chicken/Student needs a life.
Track them–it’s all the same person.
@Spicy Chicken With Flex?
@Student No, it’s to late for that now. You’re going to pay me my way.
@Spicy Chicken Just give me until the end of the week. I promise, I’ll get you the money!
@Student SPICY! Don’t play games with me!
@Spicky Chicken Is that what this is about. The money? I thought you really liked me. But if it’s about the money… I can pay.
@Student And you still haven’t paid. With interest, I’d say you owe around 2000 now.
@Spicy Chicken You took me for 1200 dollars! Of course I won’t play poker with you.
@Student You lie. You always use ellipses when you lie. It’s your tell. It’s why you never play poker with me.
@Spicy Chicken I mean no… I’m not on campus.
@Spicy Chicken Damn your good!
@Student So you are on campus?
@Spicy Chicken Well so what. There are still lots of places I could be on campus.
@Spicy Chicken Oh. I see what you did there.
@Student Aha! I now know your email address AND that you are four minutes from JJ’s. I’m zeroing in Spicy.
@Spicy Chicken Not if I get there first. I’ll be there in four!
@Student I might go get some grilled cheese RIGHT NOW! I’ll be there in five.
@ummm this happened last year, too. and then enough people complained that they brought it back.
@Spicy Chicken How dare you!!!
@Student I’ve just discovered that jj’s has grilled cheese. Maybe I don’t want chicken at all now!
@Spicy Chicken You still want me! Everybody wants Spicy! Spicy is better than Seasoned!
@GRILLED CHEESE JJ’s Has GRILLED CHEESE now though! I just had one and it’s unbelievable! They’re available today and Wednesdays until midnight! Go NOW!
@Student Is that so? Let me ask you this. When you decided to run away and hide, did you ever think to take Seasoned Chicken with you? No you didn’t. You’re heartless, Spicy, leaving your brother like that. Maybe I don’t want you after all.
@Spicy Chicken Drat!
But it does you no good, either of you. Go ahead and email me. You still won’t find me.
@Student It’s not a threat, it’s a promise.
And it seems you’ve slipped up, Spicy! I now know your email address.
@Spicy Chicken Unless you are Daniel Day Lewis, Student, I’m not afraid. Sounds like an empty threat.
@Student Do not think you have escaped, Spicy Chicken! I will find you. No matter how far, no matter how long it takes, I will find you!
@Other Student How very Last of the Mohicans of you.
@Spicy Chicken I have escaped to a different place. I’d say a better place. A place where I can enjoy not being drowned in honey mustard and masticated. And where I can check Bwog.
@Grammar Police “its own”