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Senior Wisdom: Noam Harary


We check in with Noam Harary (right)

Name, School: Noam Harary, CC 08

Claim to fame: Jewfro  

Post-grad plans: Living on a friends couch in the city while bartending and acting.  I’ll be out West next winter teaching snowboarding.  

Preferred swim test stroke?  Butterfly, then desperately treading water once immediately exhausted. 

What are three things you learned at Columbia?

1) You could forge your professor’s signature on the add/drop forms, and the registrar never checks or keeps a copy of that document. Hoo-rah.

2) Deadlines are a state of mind.  Extensions are always given if asked the right way… (hint: no one wants a jumper)

3) You can graduate with only a concentration. Seriously, no major, no thesis. What’s lazy, has two thumbs and a B.A.? This guy.

Justify your existence in 30 words or less.

Gam Zoo Letovah 

What was your favorite controversy in your time at Columbia?

Columbia women giving condescending looks to Barnard girls after they say, “I could have gone to Columbia, I chose Barnard” 

What Columbia memory best exemplifies your college experience?

It’s a tie between slip and sliding on the Carman 8 floor freshmen year using laundry detergent and Saran wrap, and the time I was officially accused by the Philosophy Department of being mentally ill.  Both equally epic. 

Which prof do you think would be the best kisser?

Vandenburg. 

What percentage of seniors do you think are virgins?

The ugly percentage. 

Would you rather permanently give up oral sex or cheese?

Oral sex is good, but cheese is forever. 

Best Days on Campus memory?

The one with the hot redhead, I think that was last year’s.  Wait, my DOC? 

Regrets?

Not including obscure philosophical references when answering this questionnaire.  I can’t even directly quote Foucault- how will I live?

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43 Comments

  • nah says:

    @nah no way does that guy have two thumbs.

    some people have two thumbs but it is very rare.

    1. uh,...... says:

      @uh,...... everyone has two thumbs: a left thumb and a right thumb

  • ... says:

    @... what do you know — another douche on senior wisdom. guys, at least try to find good ones or stop the series.

  • ... says:

    @... i think the school should bill back all the grants made to kids who spent four years here but couldn’t even bother to complete a major…

    sheesh!

    1. man says:

      @man whatever.

      people way too uptight about their majors.

      it’s arguably easier to do a lot of majors, and take intro classes, than to just take what you want and take a lot of seminars and advanced courses in different fields.

      plus harder don’t mean better.

      1. agreed says:

        @agreed it’s a rare situation where you actually need whatever “specialization” an undergrad major provides you with. Just concentrating let me have room to take classes (including upper-level ones) in a wider range of subjects and keep finding new interests, and I didn’t have to suffer through uninteresting classes because I needed more credits or had to meet some distribution requirement. Just doing a concentration is something a lot more people should enjoy.

  • heeheeheeee says:

    @heeheeheeee heeheeeheeeeeee

    p.s. look at that guy’s penis!!!

  • Hmm says:

    @Hmm Amusing, but I would be more careful about advertising forging a professors signature if I were this guy….

  • hey says:

    @hey wait…this man might be a genius.

  • this guy says:

    @this guy is living the dream

  • this says:

    @this senior wisdom is excellent. What a guy!

  • this too says:

    @this too is for the best

  • omg says:

    @omg …why did i not meet him!?!!

    awesome.

  • i love says:

    @i love this one!

  • ... says:

    @... i suppose it’s true that majoring in something is unnecessary if you plan on waiting tables, bartending and ski bumming.

    (which mind you, are really fun activities and a perfectly reasonable (if not superior) approach to life… but if that’s your goal, why bother with college in the first place?)

    1. yo whatevver says:

      @yo whatevver there are many reasons to go to college most of which don’t specifically involve focusing on one area of study.
      you get
      degree
      experience
      education

  • Yay! says:

    @Yay! Noam is just the nicest, sweetest guy ever. Supper funny and sincere, and works hard when it’s important. Great senior wisdom!

  • psh says:

    @psh dick

  • the pitts says:

    @the pitts “3) You can graduate with only a concentration. Seriously, no major, no thesis. What’s lazy, has two thumbs and a B.A.? This guy. ”

    This actually made me cringe. What a fucking jagoff.

    1. and yet says:

      @and yet when jim halpert says it because a bunch of unemployed ivy league philosophy majors wrote it for him, you’ll piss yourself laughing

      1. except says:

        @except they’re not unemployed if they’re writing for the office

      2. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous Not to go off on a tangent, but the whole point of Jim saying the “this guy” thing is to mock it as being stupid and unfunny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C7GSW5f34g
        Also BJ Novak majored in English and Spanish Literature, not philosophy.

        I am so cool.

  • lol says:

    @lol I don’t think he sounds terrible. I thought it was pretty funny.

  • Ok... says:

    @Ok... So you don’t like it when all Bwog runs are the valedictorian/Marshall/Rhodes scholars for the Senior Wisdoms, and now you don’t like it that the chill side of Columbia comes out (for fuck’s sake, some of you could use some chilling out).

    And that’s not just because I’m carrying Noam’s child.

    I’m a guy.

  • pathetic says:

    @pathetic i can’t believe people are hating on this guy. he’s cool and his senior wisdom is funny. you cynics/losers need to lighten up.

  • seriously says:

    @seriously agree with “pathetic.”

    there’s so much negativity with all of these comments

  • John says:

    @John Noam is an upstanding guy. There’s a difference between being wise and being smart, and he pretty much makes that difference up.

    He’s also not lazy at all. I just saw him perform a part in Much Ado About Nothing that he learned in three weeks after someone else quit. Modesty is a virtue.

  • i wish says:

    @i wish i were as laid back as this guy. he’s got it figured out.

  • hell yes says:

    @hell yes THIS GUY IS AWESOME.

    finally, a senior wisdom i can relate to!

  • hot girl says:

    @hot girl I heard he’s really good in bed too…

    1. hot guy says:

      @hot guy definitely, i can personally confirm that

  • agree says:

    @agree He’s hilarious!

  • ahem says:

    @ahem As You Like It

    get yo shit straight

  • noam says:

    @noam =AMAZING. he is such a sweet and funny guy, almost too cool its intimidating. and very hot. double plus.

  • hes hott says:

    @hes hott like seriously

  • anonymous says:

    @anonymous i have the biggest crush on this guy.

  • haha says:

    @haha columbia “women” and barnard “girls”

    whoops

  • man says:

    @man dude be boning all the girls I want to bone

  • NOams great says:

    @NOams great So what you’re saying is… that Noam’s a slacker asshole bastard cuz he’s graduating without a major…

    BUT WHAT IM ACTUALLY HEARING IS…
    that you’re all pissed and jealous that you’ve wasted your lives over your majors and theses, and he didn’t. He beat the system and you’re jealous. Get over yourselves.

    I love Noam. I lived with him for a bit. And he is a slacker but he’s an upstanding guy. The best way I could describe him is he’s the jewish ferris bueller. Shit just always seems to work for him. And that’s okay.

    btw. He was in As You Like It, you tool.

    1. ... says:

      @... zomg! american slacker hero! he went to one of the best schools in the country and couldn’t be bothered to even complete a single major! we should all be like him!

      i, for one, welcome our new asian overlords.

  • noam says:

    @noam is my hero.

  • kjkl says:

    @kjkl wait so why did bwog choose this guy? he doesnt seem important…all he does ie bartending .and is kinda a douche from my interactions with him.

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