At midnight, Columbia has one of its few annual rituals—the Primal Scream. For new students, here’s a four-step guide:

  1. If your clock’s not auto-synced to the NIST’s Cesium Fountain Atomic Clock (i.e. the Internet), make sure you’ve set it correctly.
  2. At midnight, open your window or go outside.
  3. . Loudly.
  4. Keep it short. If you’re still screaming past 12:04, you’re a tool. Just stop.

For those of you waiting to whack people with pillows, you’ll have to wait until the spring to avoid assault charges (remember, folks, consent is sexy!).

Make yourselves heard, people!