Legions of wild skunks are fleeing their homes in the Bronx—and taking up residence in Upper Manhattan. It’s only a matter of time before they breach Columbia’s gates, it seems. And Bwog has been looking to expand Hawkmadinejad’s diet… (NYT)

Clifton Maloney, husband of Manhattan-Queens Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney, died while descending a mountain in the Himalayas. (NY Post)

If you’re a New York sports fan (rumor has it there are two or three of them at Columbia), your television just might explode at one o’clock today. To accommodate Jewish fans heading to Yom Kippur services at sundown, both the Jets and Giants will be playing early afternoon games. And if you think owning two TVs gets you out of the woods, think again: the Yankees look to clinch a playoff spot the division title against the Boston Red Sox at—you guessed it!—one o’clock. (NY Daily News)

In what might be called an ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING DEVLOPMENT, heroin seems to be taking hold with younger and younger New Yorkers, thanks to its affordability and potency. The Wire is on Netflix, friends—start brushing up! (NYT)

Al Gore is doing his best to reduce the size of his footprint—or at least the depth of it.  The former vice president, last seen sporting an impressive beard and even more impressive gut, was spotted looking rather svelte at an event with Mayor Bloomberg. It’s news like this that makes those other horrifying Bwoglines bearable. (NY Daily News)