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Bwog presents the winners of the Philolexian Society’s 24th Annual Alfred Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry Contest. We hear it was positively painful to your ears.
Winner: “Balloon Boy by Philip Glass” by Edward Rueda (CC’05), with Everett Patterson (CC’06), 2009 Kilmer Laureate
1st Runner-Up: “Ballad of the Frozen Heart” by Laura Baur-Jaronowski (CC’06)
2nd Runner-Up: “Hamilton and Madison” by Alec Webley (SAS’11, UPenn)
Dishonorable Mention: “Stalker, a Love Poem” by Marley Weiner (BC’10)
Dishonorable Mention: “Tubular” by Samantha Kuperberg (BC’10)
Dishonorable Mention: “Chinese Teashop Rap” and “Crime and Punishment Rap” by Dexter Thompson-Pomeroy (CC’12)
Dishonorable Mention: Untitled math sonnets by Adam Levine (GSAS)
Dishonorable Mention: “If God, Then: Newark, New Jersey. Or: Up, Up, Down, Right, Left, Dog Poop. Or: God/Jay Michaelson: The Antichrist?” by Michal Richardson (BC’06)
The texts, audio clips, pictures, and even a video of the winner, will all be posted on Phlog in the next couple days. Check regularly for updates!
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@Lady Pistol Whip This one’s a PHD student in math, and probably not a pop star by night.
Probably.
@sunday morning Adam Levine? As in, “This love has taken its toll on me/she said goodbye too many times before” Adam Levine?