Feb

2

PSA: Hide Yo Hotpots, Hide Yo Tobacco Water Pipes

Written by

inspector gadget

FYI Columbia: the promise of wireless rooms may come to fruition–but not without a caveat.  Today from 10am to 2pm, CUIT will stop by EC, Harmony, Shapiro and 47 Claremont to review the buildings for potential wireless installations over the summer.

An email from CUIT includes this cryptic message: “Also please be aware that there will be a representative from the Housing department present during the course of this walk through.”  So, if you have anything Housing might not want to see out, maybe chuck in it a drawer.

A full list of of things Columbia prohibits and the entire email after the jump.

The no no’s:

  • Your own space heater
  • Any gigantic container of alcohol (no matter how old you are)
  • All alcohol if you are a wee lad or lass (i.e. under 21)
  • Halogen lamps
  • Airconditioners
  • Grills, other than those cute little George Foreman ones
  • Steam vaporizers
  • Waterbeds (though Bwog’ll give you points for sex-ayness)
  • Any cooking appliance being used in your room (just turn it off and you’re golden)
  • Your own microwave (not ok under any circumstances. Well, except for all non-fire drill circumstances)
  • Pets other than fish and your registered friendly seeing-eye dog
  • Gigantic fridges (over 2.5 cubic feet)
  • Smoking devices such as a hookah, pipe, or bong that one uses for tobacco
  • Weapons of any kind (including martial arts, which is silly)
  • Evidence that you are running a business of any kind out of your room
  • If you’ve painted your wall or cabinet or anything, even if you intend to repaint it, watch out.
  • Illegal substances (Wait, when did this get added?)

The full email:

Dear [Building] Residents,

In an effort to ensure appropriate communication, Columbia’s CUIT Management is scheduled to review your building/suite for potential wireless installation over the summer. The evaluation will include access into individual rooms.

Currently this appraisal has been scheduled for Wednesday, February 2, 2011 from 10:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m.  Also please be aware that there will be a representative from the Housing department present during the course of this walk through.

We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us at [email protected].
Regards,
Housing Services

Image via ToonBarn

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5 Comments

  1. Anonymous  

    Don't forget Schapiro!

  2. Anonymous

    Evidence that you're running a business of any kind out of your room? Seriously? That doesn't make sense.

  3. I make money blogging  

    will they check my computer for my posts or something, epic fail housing. More reason why I want to get out of here.

  4. Awesome.

    When I read "weapons of any kind" I thought of Dwight Schrute hiding his throwing stars and blow guns.

  5. hmmm

    Dwight would take delight at the lack of any specific prohibition against agricultural pitchforks or garden rakes, or 19th century sheep sheering equipment.

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