The Third Annual NSOP Schadenfreude
Written by Bwog Staff
The moment of move-in day (supposed to to start today) after your parents leave and before Orientation really begins is pretty terrifying. The Klimt posters securely tacked to your John Jay wall are not substitutes for human-person friends, and you don’t have any of those yet. One Bwogger remembered calling an older friend at this very moment three years ago and asking what to do now that he was moved in and alone. “Go downstairs and hang out with the people outside your dorm smoking cigarettes,” the friend advised. She wasn’t wrong.
There will be many moments of Orientation that make you feel unsettled and vaguely sad, epitomized in the forced march of Orientation activities that you will quickly realize are not-really-mandatory but still sometimes kind of fun in spite of themselves (especially if you are drunk). For the third year in a row, Bwog takes a look at the Orientation activities scheduled at other colleges around the nation, in hopes you, freshperson, will be encouraged that your NSOP week could be worse.
UPenn is hosting a “Girl’s Night” that is, allegedly, “not just for girls!” Complete with s’mores-making, Wii-playing, and saying stuff like this.
Brown’s Class of 2015 Meet & Greet offers the opportunity to “sculpt Brown bears out of Play Doh.” You may also win temporary tattoos and take a photo with Cubby the Brown Bear at the First-Year Festival. “No one is too cool for ‘donuts on a string,'” the orientation schedule declares. We beg to differ.
Harvard engages in some typical navel-gazing with a screening of Good Will Hunting. Also available that evening: pretzel-making, “hanging in the HappyNest” which we can only assume is code for some kind of drug-fueled all-night celebration, and mini bowling.
Wesleyan has a “Bigger Crazy Fun Night” scheduled. You can make your own street sign.
Johns Hopkins, already famous for 2009’s “Beer Goggles Challenge”, hosts a “Sexcapades” meeting.
UMiami offers a “Welcome to Miami” fete sponsored by the confusingly-acronymed BACCHUS, which apparently stands for “Promoting Alcohol Responsibility to You.”
Evergreen University’s alcohol-awareness performance is titled “Thinking Outside the Bottle.” They’re also hosting a make-your-own-doormat party. There will be a performance from the “Heart Sparkle Players” one evening.