A too-little, too-late (too-gross) allusion to shock porn? We would never! And we resent the accusation. No, this is just our feature about two very hungry girls trying to share big mouthfuls of one snack. Morningside is overflowing with seasonal treats, so we summoned Alison Herman and Sam Schipani to navigate the deep, dark, gooey (and a little bit stringy) insides of a fall favorite: the pumpkin. Sit back, dim your computer screen in case your roommate walks in, and enjoy 2Girls1Snack.

Pumpkin Cheesecake at the Hungarian Pastry Shop

At $3.95 for a hefty portion enough to feed two people, this treat immediately won us over for its bargain pricing. Nonetheless, the hospitable coffee shop atmosphere served as a perfect complement for escaping chilly fall weather. Our initial jubilation was thwarted when we noticed a distinct lack of pumpkin flavor, however. As far as cheesecakes go, it’s fantastically thick and rich, but the flavor was more lemony than anything else. The bland, unsweetened crust didn’t help matters either. Overall, go to Hungarian when you’re craving just plain ol’ cheesecake, not something to remind you of fall.

Rating: 3/5

Pumpkin Pie at Westside Market

For you pumpkin purists out there, an old-fashioned slice of pumpkin pie might be your best bet, and the pumpkin pie at Westside definitely delivers a pumpkin punch. At $4.99 for two skinny slices, this dessert has the most pumpkin flavor for your precious dollars,  however, the inevitable truth is that it is not an exceptional pumpkin pie.  The consistency is odd, almost stringy (possibly the result of pumpkin overload) and seriously lacking the ideal balance of spice and sweetness.  And like the cheesecake, the lackluster cardboard-like crust didn’t help matters much; Where have the days of the sweet graham cracker crust gone?  This classic gone wrong still gets a mediocre rating, but only for seasonal value.

Rating: 2/5

Pilgrim Joe’s Pumpkin Ice Cream at Trader Joe’s

For those of you who think 72nd Street is too far to go for your pumpkin fix, you’re wrong. So, so wrong. The last treat we sampled was by far the best; creamy, but not cloying; flavorful, but not overpowering; spicy, but not in a weird way. Unencumbered by a mediocre crust, ice cream proved to be the perfect vehicle for letting all that is great about pumpkin shine through. And at $3.99 for an entire quart, it’s already a great deal for a single munchies-afflicted stoner, let alone eight normal people, or most importantly, two girls in search of one snack.

Rating: 5/5