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Overheard: Swipe. Sex. See You Next Tuesday Edition

Finals have you cramped for time? Can’t seem to fit in snuggle sessions with your dearly beloved? Don’t fret, it seems like a productive Columbian has found an out (or an in). 

Guy: ”She signed me in, we had sex, five minutes later, she signed me out. She said I could cuddle if I wanted, but to feel no obligation.”

Sexy Burgers via Wikimedia Commons

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  • Didn't realize says:

    @Didn't realize there was a brothel on campus.

    1. oh noes says:

      @oh noes Just admit that you’re jealous that other people are having sex and you aren’t.

      1. Hmm says:

        @Hmm > Implying Barnard students are people.

    2. anon says:

      @anon grandma, is that you?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous ummm – why are all the tags barnard?

    1. because says:

      @because the girl had to sign him in duh

    2. Context Clues says:

      @Context Clues He was signed in. Columbia students don’t need to be swiped into Columbia dorms. Therefore, he must have been entering a Barnard dorm.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous Apparently he entered more than just a dorm.

        1. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous Come again?

          1. Nice! says:

            @Nice! I see what you did there.

        2. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous I wanted to like that comment but I can’t bring myself to ruin the 69 thumbs up. Just know that I appreciate you.

      2. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous WHAT ABOUt jtS BRO?

        1. Anonymous says:

          @Anonymous No mention of white sheets.

      3. or says:

        @or was a gs or jts student who also need to be signed into columbia dorms (and barnard dorms, for that matter)

  • West Siiiiiiide. says:

    @West Siiiiiiide. Thanks for posting that picture. You’ve reminded all West Coast students why they regret coming back East for school.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous I hate how douchey West Coast people can be when talking about In-n-Out. it’s just another decent burger joint, get over yourselves.

      1. Anonymous says:

        @Anonymous “Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies”

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous So the sex was five minutes…

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous 5 min after the glorious sex act was complete of course…. but thanks brah… you ruined that last thing I had left to live vicariously through

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I can’t tell if the sex was five minutes long or she signed him out five minutes after they finished.

  • i'd kick him out too says:

    @i'd kick him out too i don’t want to cuddle with you if you can’t last longer than 5 minutes

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Well, I’m not going to give you my A-game if I can sense you’re gonna punish me with passive-aggressive demands of cuddling after.

      Neediness kicks in the flight reflex early.

  • title = says:

    @title = CUNextTuesday… very funny bwog :P

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