I once went to Butler, sat across a gorgeous, tall man. We made eye contact for over 10 minutes just smiling, but the weakling couldn’t work up the nerve to approach me. To which I say: Dear Columbia men, please grow a pair!
@Anonymous Sometimes I go to Butler wishing I had the balls to do this.
I came really close once and then I realized the guy sitting next to the girl I thought was cute was her boyfriend. There should be a singles room in butler.
@nwbar Since it was requested, grammatically incorrect sex as told from the room next door:
I stumbled home from another unsuccessful night at 1020 to the sounds of my next-door neighbors going at it again, their grammar as bad as last time.
“Spanking that ass, I’m gonna fuck you hard!” A dangling participle. Who’s doing the spanking? Who’s doing the fucking?
I try to finish my reading. Foucault. “Ohmygod ohmygod I love that oh…” Now we’ve moved on to the run-on sentences portion of the evening. What’s the topic of this sentence? Does it even have a subject and a verb?
“Who’s your daddy? Who’s your daddy?” It’s spoken, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not saying “Whose you’re daddy,” but if you’re going to ask a rhetorical question you need to answer it in some fashion. Perhaps with a walk back through her genealogy. Perhaps with some vigorous fucking, but I’m not hearing the springs.
I did what I had to. I knocked. They giggled for a bit. I knocked again. He opened the door in a towel and rubber gloves. She was hiding in the back beneath a blanket.
“You’re being very loud. And your grammar is poor.”
He was a bit stunned, but she spoke up. “What do you mean our grammar is poor?”
“It’s full of common mistakes. I can’t take it anymore. Fuck all you want, but just make sure your subjects and your verbs agree and watch for dangling participles.”
Stunned silence. I guess I should have expected this. However, the girl was still mortified enough at her poor grammar to speak.
“You’re not going to tell anyone about this?”
“Who would I tell?”
“You mean,” the man spoke, “WHOM would you tell.”
The next thing I new I was wearing a gimp mask, blowing the guy while the girl pegged me from behind. “Say it wrong!” she yelled.
“Between you and I, this is amazing!”
“Wronger!” The guy yelled.
“Being fucked with a dildo, I love blowing you!
“Not good enough!” she yelled.
“I love y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e dick in my ass!”
Three ours later we passed out, sore and depleted of all hour bodily fluids.
@nwbar To all of the people saying the misuse of “you’re” is a dealbreaker — THIS IS WHY YOU ARE ALONE. THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE HOT, SWEATY, GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT SEX AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
@Anonymous John Doe, learn the difference between “you’re” and “your”. Perhaps a better grasp of English grammar would make your course reading more tolerable.
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42 Comments
@Anonymous meow
@Anonymous [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vyt0TuqlReg&version=3&hl=en_US%5D
@Anonymous
@wanted: women who approach men To which I say: you could have talked to him!
@Here here I may be a pussy, but you are a slave to social convention
@WANTED: MANLY MAN! I’m impressed!
I once went to Butler, sat across a gorgeous, tall man. We made eye contact for over 10 minutes just smiling, but the weakling couldn’t work up the nerve to approach me. To which I say: Dear Columbia men, please grow a pair!
xoxo
@Anonymous Because god forbid you approach him! Think of how terrible it would be if you took initiative.
@Anonymous Sometimes I go to Butler wishing this would happen. Oh well :(
@Anonymous Sometimes I go to Butler wishing I had the balls to do this.
I came really close once and then I realized the guy sitting next to the girl I thought was cute was her boyfriend. There should be a singles room in butler.
@Skip Tickle This article and all the above comments were–whaddayacallit…staged and in kahoots.
@nwbar Since it was requested, grammatically incorrect sex as told from the room next door:
I stumbled home from another unsuccessful night at 1020 to the sounds of my next-door neighbors going at it again, their grammar as bad as last time.
“Spanking that ass, I’m gonna fuck you hard!” A dangling participle. Who’s doing the spanking? Who’s doing the fucking?
I try to finish my reading. Foucault. “Ohmygod ohmygod I love that oh…” Now we’ve moved on to the run-on sentences portion of the evening. What’s the topic of this sentence? Does it even have a subject and a verb?
“Who’s your daddy? Who’s your daddy?” It’s spoken, so I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not saying “Whose you’re daddy,” but if you’re going to ask a rhetorical question you need to answer it in some fashion. Perhaps with a walk back through her genealogy. Perhaps with some vigorous fucking, but I’m not hearing the springs.
I did what I had to. I knocked. They giggled for a bit. I knocked again. He opened the door in a towel and rubber gloves. She was hiding in the back beneath a blanket.
“You’re being very loud. And your grammar is poor.”
He was a bit stunned, but she spoke up. “What do you mean our grammar is poor?”
“It’s full of common mistakes. I can’t take it anymore. Fuck all you want, but just make sure your subjects and your verbs agree and watch for dangling participles.”
Stunned silence. I guess I should have expected this. However, the girl was still mortified enough at her poor grammar to speak.
“You’re not going to tell anyone about this?”
“Who would I tell?”
“You mean,” the man spoke, “WHOM would you tell.”
The next thing I new I was wearing a gimp mask, blowing the guy while the girl pegged me from behind. “Say it wrong!” she yelled.
“Between you and I, this is amazing!”
“Wronger!” The guy yelled.
“Being fucked with a dildo, I love blowing you!
“Not good enough!” she yelled.
“I love y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e dick in my ass!”
Three ours later we passed out, sore and depleted of all hour bodily fluids.
@Anonymous dafuq did i just read???
@I want …the last minute of my life back.
@Anonymous BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Favorite comment! Favorite comment!
@cc'12 I love my school.
@Anonymous Can you be the Class Day speaker??
@Anonymous *knew
@Anonymous “He opened the door in a towel and rubber gloves.”
fight club reference?
@nwbar To all of the people saying the misuse of “you’re” is a dealbreaker — THIS IS WHY YOU ARE ALONE. THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO HAVE HOT, SWEATY, GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT SEX AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
@Anonymous I would love to read a transcription of grammatically incorrect sex. I’m counting on you bwog. DON’T LET ME DOWN!
@Anonymous I can gladly say I was not disappointed.
@omg soooo cuteeee
@Anonymous I read “you’re” and became disinterested.
@Anonymous what’s you’re name?^ this meme has gotten way out of control!
@Anonymous expensive pasta
@Anonymous John Doe, learn the difference between “you’re” and “your”. Perhaps a better grasp of English grammar would make your course reading more tolerable.
@Anonymous and Heil to you too, mr. Grammar Nazi.
@Mind your capitalization. *heil and *Mr.
@Anonymous Capitalization is the difference between: I helped my uncle jack off a horse and I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse.
@well i’ve done both.
@Damn Bastard stole the idea I always wanted to have
@Anonymous He’s been reading the same page for the past five minutes because the pages got stuck together…
@Anonymous jizzed in my paaaa..mphlet.
@lolz you’re
@ouch.. deal breaker.
@dude should've took his crumpled note to the writing center for editing.
@wait this is better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PeGDBR0Ej_0
@whoaaaa did i just do that?
@NYU Kid Why is “you’re” incorrect?
@Anonymous It’s the second use of you’re that is wrong
@David Epstein So I see you found my note
@Joseph Paul Martin Hands off, she’s mine.