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Primal Scream Primer

Meta screaming

If all you wanna do is scream, here’s how to do it. Reposted for your auditory pleasure, the extra-comprehensive guide on letting it loose. 

Finals got you down? Then you can verbally vent your frustrations by participating in the Primal Scream. The guide for noobs:

  • If your clock or watch is not auto-synced to the NIST’s Cesium Fountain Atomic Clock (i.e. the Internet), make sure you’ve set it correctly. When in doubt, Bwog recommends a cell phone for superior accuracy.
  • At midnight, open your window or go outside.
  • Scream. Loudly. It should sound like this. Morningside Heights residents will wonder if you’ve been “skewered,” apparently.
  • Keep it short. Some of you will be tempted to scream for more than three minutes. Ignore this temptation.
  • If you have more stress than you can possibly release verbally, bring yourself, a pillow, and your “caged frustration” to the tents in front of Butler for a school-wide pillow fight. Rain or shine cold, dry darkness to parallel that of your soul, the festivities commence at midnight.

Update: Turns out the pillow fight isn’t until Primal Scream in the Spring. This would explain why Bwog was the only one standing outside Butler in the freezing cold, clutching a pillow.

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16 Comments

  • President Bill CLITon says:

    @President Bill CLITon I love primal screamers ;)

    1. Bob says:

      @Bob @President Bill CLITon: Jokes that haven’t been funny in 15 years are the best.

  • Twerkin says:

    @Twerkin To all dha ladies put dhere that wanna git good scream, just find yoself a nice penis (you aint gotta care for the fella’s face) and do all sort of 50 shades things. Express yoself. Be free. Relieve some stress, I’m lookin at you Butler 6th floor cuties ;)

  • Twerkin Trina says:

    @Twerkin Trina Damn bwog, why you only put the first part of my name? Im DHE Twerkin Trina

    1. President Bill CLITon says:

      @President Bill CLITon Can I join? I love trying new things.

  • Twerkin Trina says:

    @Twerkin Trina Yeah Billy, i got a sweet spot for you. I knew I voted right CLITon. ’92-’01 were the best years of mah lyfe.

  • Rape Culture says:

    @Rape Culture “I wonder if they’re being raped…but then, it’s Columbia.”

    You do not know HOW triggering this was for me.

    1. Skewer Culture says:

      @Skewer Culture Yea, I know what you mean :/

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Wait, is the pillow fight this semester?

  • BWOG FAILED says:

    @BWOG FAILED Pillow fight is in the spring only

    1. BWOG FAILED says:

      @BWOG FAILED ok, what you need to do bwog is make a facebook page and invite EVERYONE that is the only way to cover up your fail

  • But Lets Have a Pillowfight Anyway says:

    @But Lets Have a Pillowfight Anyway This is a fortuitous opportunity! Let us have a pillow fight anyway!!

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous TONIGHT: Primal Scream

    TOMORROW 9AM: Desperate Whimper.

  • Screamer says:

    @Screamer I’m still stress even after that, fuck my life

  • meme says:

    @meme Perfect timing, kids. Seriously?! After what happened two days ago?! I hope you all fail your stupid finals.

  • lol says:

    @lol i screamd “tits” LOL

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