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Overheard: Trouble at the Turnstiles

Locked up!

Locked up!

Two men in fancy suits walk into Lerner. One man passes through the turnstiles with ease. The other is left stuck on the side of the public – the side of the plebians. This will not do.

Stuck man to desk: “Can’t I go through!? I’m not an alumni here, but I DID go to Harvard.”

He DID go to Harvard. The nerve! Keeping a man of his quality locked up behind those stupid metal bars… He paid good money for his education! Couldn’t that woman tell by his perfectly coiffed hair, his teeth sparkling white teeth, his overbearing air of dickishness? If he wanted to be treated this way he would have gone to Cornell.

Lerner will be hearing from his lawyers.

No hope via Shutterstock

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19 Comments

  • Harvard graduate says:

    @Harvard graduate A real Harvard graduate would not say “an alumni.”

  • Jordana Abraham says:

    @Jordana Abraham Cornell

    1. Samantha Fishbein says:

      @Samantha Fishbein forever

      1. Aleen Kuperman says:

        @Aleen Kuperman betches

  • Aleen Kuperman says:

    @Aleen Kuperman betches

  • Excuse me, but says:

    @Excuse me, but Does the Bwog know who I am? Who my father is? I am an upstanding member of this community, and I will not stand being lambasted in a public forum by sniveling undergrads. Take this down immediately.

    1. Excuse me, but says:

      @Excuse me, but Oh, and it’s apparent that your “core” doesn’t teach you to hide your inferiority complex very well.

  • A joke says:

    @A joke How do you know if a man is a Harvard graduate?

    Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.

  • Van Owen says:

    @Van Owen The nerve of those people…

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous lulz all the people without crowns

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Phone commenting?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous On the subject of elitism, I knew my girlfriend was the one when I told her I went to Columbia and she deadpanned, “Columbia? Is that a four year school?”

  • Harvard Airlines says:

    @Harvard Airlines Welcome to Harvard Airlines, where you can carry on your ego and never have to check your privilege!

  • fuck 'em says:

    @fuck 'em the day i can get into widener library is the day all have sympathy for those poor cantabs.

  • Typo says:

    @Typo “His teeth sparkling white teeth”? lol

  • Gretchen Weiners says:

    @Gretchen Weiners I don’t think my father, the inventor of the toaster strudel, will be too pleased to hear about this.

    1. Blunts in Butler says:

      @Blunts in Butler Can I like get his autograph?

  • Blunts in Butler says:

    @Blunts in Butler Dude. Chill. Like no one cares.

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