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We Wouldn’t Touch You With a Ten-Foot Poll

As you may recall, Bwog has recently been on a journey of self-discovery and institutional memory in which we trawl through Columbia’s history to bring you cool things. Recently, we sat down in the RBML with a huge stack of old yearbooks to find weird memorabilia and embarrassing pictures of Obama. While we kind of failed on the second part (CONSPIRACISTS), we’d like to consider the first part a huge success.

One thing we located was a hilarious Senior Poll published in a yearbook from the 50s, in which the yearbook staff asked all the seniors for their opinions on various questions. This inspired us to ask you, dear readers, to participate in a similar poll–except since we’re so equal-opportunity, we’re not limiting our data to seniors. Considering how great the poll was, we’re just going to go ahead and steal their list of questions. Really, they cared about these questions in the 50s, too! Then, using science, we will compare the results with a 95% confidence interval (which, coincidentally, is the only term we remember from Frontiers).

Of the following, which do you think should take precedence in the Columbia Development Program?

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Do you read the Spectator daily?

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Do you find yourself in agreement generally with Spectator editorial policy?

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Do you feel that student government at Columbia is effective?

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Do you favor an all-senior student board?

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Do you feel that Columbia consistently follows the Ivy League policy of not over-emphasizing athletics?

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Are you satisfied with the showing Columbia's teams have made in Ivy League competition?

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Do you agree with the abolition of spring football practice?

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Do you think that the president of Columbia University should be an academic or a national figure?

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Do you favor the establishment of a separate board of trustees for Columbia College?

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Assuming equal qualifications, do you think admittance preference should be given to students from remote areas of the country rather than local areas?

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Do you think preference should be given to prep school boys?

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Do you favor the installation of an honor system at Columbia?

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Assuming that it had been installed, would you report the name of someone you observed cheating on an examination?

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Will you encourage your son to attend Columbia?

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Are you aware of the activities of the alumni association?

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On the basis of your knowledge of their activities, do you plan to join the alumni association?

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Do you think communists should be allowed to teach at Columbia?

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Do you favor changing the name of Columbia College to King's College?

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Do you feel fraternities have a valuable role to play in the college community?

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4 Comments

  • King's College says:

    @King's College We really are a bunch of loyalists.

  • yo momz says:

    @yo momz why would you want trustees? this school is run as a corporation enough already. fuck the red tape and administration!!! we don’t have community because these guys think the school’s only value is its endowment.

    DOWN WITH BOLLINGER VALENTINI AND THE REST OF EM!

  • Crown Lover says:

    @Crown Lover Our symbol is the crown, and our mascot is the lion. Can’t get more royalist than that.

    Speaking of crowns, can we please get Barnard and the B-School crowns?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous something something patriarchy something something hierarchies of oppression something something otherized

      you got the rest

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