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Senior Scramble: “Official” At Last

Nah.

Nah.

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, and for all you seniors out there, you know what that means: one last chance to have casual, meaningless dorm-room sex with your Butler crush, followed by an awkward Saturday morning brunch at Ferris/Community wherein you discover a complete and absolute lack of emotional involvement.

Seniors, keep your eyes peeled for a unique link you’ll get via email that will let you crush on up to five stellar members of the class of 2014. If it’s mutual, you and your crush will get an email; if not, you’ll never live down the shame jk no one will ever find out. Should you play it safe or go for the gold? You’ve got two weeks, so get on that shit. Heads up, GS is not included.

Heart-shaped thing symbolizing everlasting commitment via Shutterstock

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10 Comments

  • GS senior says:

    @GS senior Just gonna add this to the long list of things I hate about this university.

    1. CC Senior says:

      @CC Senior Trust me darling, us CC kids with crushes on GS seniors are also none too pleased. Here’s to hoping you’ll put your real-life experience to use and ask us out like the functioning human beings we aren’t.

      1. GS senior says:

        @GS senior Are you seeking M or F?

  • Gussein says:

    @Gussein Fuck YALL from GS!!!!

  • Strug City says:

    @Strug City Head’s up, we can actually pick 14… Problem is trying to come up with 14 available & attractive people of the orientation you seek on this godforsaken campus

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I love bad bitches that’s my fucking problem

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous seniors please wear name tags

  • Trigger Warning says:

    @Trigger Warning THIS PROMOTES ANAL CULTURE

  • @GS Senior's Lover To GS Senior,

    Why do we need this senior scramble thing right? How bout you and me just eliminate the bs and hop in bed together??

    With Adoration to the GS Senior Who Feels Hes Superior to the Rest of the Undergrads,

    Your lover

    1. GS senior says:

      @GS senior Superior to you, in reading comprehension, maybe.

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