39 Comments
Hagen
And thus we continue with our pre-frosh profiles. Just think—they’ll even be making a special appearance on campus soon! Try to hide your Bacchanal hangover.
Hometown: Austin, Texas
School: CC
Prospective Major: Environmental Science, but open to change
Prospective Dorm: Carman
Why Columbia?
I chose Columbia because I felt that compared to other Ivy Leagues the atmosphere was right for me. I love the rich history and prestigious tradition of Columbia and I am so excited to meet a diverse group of people and expand my horizons of learning and opportunity.
How long do you think it’ll take to lose your dignity, moral compass, and sanity?
I plan on keeping my dignity and moral compass close to me through my time at Columbia. But I’m not too worried about sanity, that word always reminds me of my sophomore year honors English class when we read and dissected Life of Pi. One of the major themes is the fact that one may go insane to keep his true sanity. (Referring to Pi Patel creating the whole story of the tiger to blanket a grim reality of murder and cannibalism going on in the boat to stay alive and sane.) Anyways, what I’m getting at is that I may go a little insane in the next 4 years but for the better and I hope to gain so much knowledge from my future experiences.
How many Lit Hum books have you read? Or are planning to read?
Honestly I haven’t read one. Well except the bible that’s a good one. But I love a good book so I’ll read a good amount of them before the fall.
You mentioned that you’ll be playing football at Columbia. How did their losing streak this season factor into your decision?
The football team is trying to start a new era of winning and I am very excited to be a part of it. The only thing that impacted my decision to attend Columbia athletically was the coaches with their great personalities and football knowledge.The school did the rest.
What are you doing with the rest of your senior year?
For the rest of my senior year I am trying to soak in the Texas sun as much as possible before I go and experience a real winter in NY. I am going to the Honduras on a fly-fishing/environmental restoration trip that I did last summer as well and I also plan to road trip through Colorado, Wyoming and Yellowstone Park to fly-fish and camp in the desolate wilderness as kind of a last hoorah before I go to school. I will hopefully spend time with my family and lifelong friends and visit my favorite places near home before I embark on the opportunity of a lifetime. I can’t wait.
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39 Comments
@Anonymous You didn’t ask him about oral sex and cheese!
@hagendon'tyouworrychild guys can we start a hagen fan club
Hide Replies • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 2, 2014 @ 10:54pm
2 agree
i bet he slays pussy
Reply • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:11pm
Original Poster based on what
Reply • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:11pm
just his appearance? and his fishing photos? he seems a lot more like a blue mountain state kinda guy
Reply • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:12pm
dude that’s just a pussy magnet thing to say. chicks dig guys with ethics.
Reply • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:15pm
they also love intellectuals
Reply • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:15pm
i bet he is going to be knee deep in vagina the moment he steps on campus
his entire carman floor will be dripping with anticipation
Original Poster sounds like a pussy
Reply • Agree • Disagree • Newsworthy • More • Apr 3, 2014 @ 11:17pm
nah bro, he slams that pussy
@Borat In my country “foot ball” is nuclear retardation disease where a foot grow out of man’s testes satchel. High five!
@BYE YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE. NO ONE CARES.
@REPPING TEXAS That’s right. You go, Hagen.
@CC16 “But I love a good book so I’ll read a good amount of them before the fall.”
psshhhh no you won’t… #TheIliad
@WEST LAKE IS THE BEST LAKE Honestly being a troll…. Lake Travis is awful though.
Have fun at Columbia!!
@Anonymous I just looked at that boy and jizzed.
@CC This is just like the movies when the new inmate is walked past all the caged inmates and they all try to scare him.
Be brave Hogan.
@Anonymous Congrats, you got 0/2 vowels correct
@pt He sounds like a really nice guy. I don’t think he was especially specific about what set Columbia apart from the other ivies– they are all prestigious, with rich historical traditions. But it is hard to precisely reduce the feeling that something is right to precise terms, and something that feels right often is.
@anon Congrats on Columbia! Never talk to Bwog or Spec again. Rookie mistake
@Anonymous “I love the rich history and prestigious tradition of Columbia”
@Anonymous HOLY SHIT a football player actually spoke to campus media!
Bwog, keep this guy locked up before the confidentiality clause gets him.
@anon who the fuck cares about prefrosh
@heyy hagen I wan to marry you.
@tbh the bible is the root of most literature.
@#unfair There is a solid chance many pre-frosh do not understand the nature of Bwog comments. We tend to be unfairly brutal, and it WOULD suck to be asked to do one of these profiles, only to have our (perhaps) idealistic image of college life prematurely shattered by some nasty comments of current students–we should let that image be shattered (or whatever) when they get here. I’d say do away with the concept of the Pre-frosh profile, since I doubt the (often pseudo) intellectual cynicism and jadedness in many of these comments is going anywhere.
@The Phantom Shadow Spec sucks!!!
@anon sounds like a pussy
@Anonymous shut up. I wish more of our athletes had this mild and interested sort of attitude.
@CC Hagen, you sound cool. Look forward to meeting you. And, welcome to Columbia.
@Sorry, not, sorry. As a GSer, I feel suddenly like a dirty voyeur. This boy was born when I was hitting puberty. Lame.
@Institutionalized Losing “The football team is trying to start a new era of winning and I am very excited to be a part of it.”
We are? Glad to hear we got tired of losing.
@Regina Still half true
@srsly? referencing life of pi to sound smart?
@HP Nah, just a useful lesson I learned from a favorite teacher of mine who is now battling cancer. Sorry to burden you with the thirst for being intellectually accepted, by talking about a book with an 8th grade reading level.
@op no burden. guess it’s also the fact that it read too much like a college application. just sayin’…
@anony rekt
@Lets stop measuring ourselves against a hs senior
@EM you just owned him/her hagen.
@All the cool kids Don’t worry, I picked up on the try hard. It’s there. But it probably didn’t need to be called out, it’s a just pre frosh.
@cc16 Go home.
@Pete "great personality" Mangurian lol
@Anonymous Honestly I haven’t read one. Well except the bible that’s a good one.
@yesss gods, sex, talking snakes, magic–all the makings of a good sci-fi book.
@CC '16 Nice to see that we’re bashing this guy’s religious beliefs before he even sets foot on campus. The selective tolerance of the left never ceases to amaze me.
@Do I even have to point out you can be tolerant and accepting of someone else’s beliefs but still think that they’re a load of crap.
@CC'14 Ok Bwog…based on the last two, are you just choosing the hottest pre-frosh to make us feel like cradle robbers?