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Student Input, Really?

still not as good as the dog bartender

Lookin’ for a new Dean

You, too, can have input on our new Dean of Undergraduate Student Affairs, according to an email just sent out by Deantini and Dean Boyce. Win the lottery, abide by “confidentiality requirements,” and help Storbeck and PrezBo narrow it down next Tuesday and Friday.

The academic headhunters Storbeck/Pimentel and Associates began the search to replace Ke$ho (and interim dean Terry Martinez) in November 2013, which was rumored to cost Columbia University around $75k. The search is almost over, and we really can’t wait to start receiving his or her new emails when undergraduates fuck up.

Dear Undergraduate Students,

We are inviting you to register for a lottery opportunity to participate in a Meet & Greet Forum with the Dean of Undergraduate Student Affairs Finalists. These meetings will take place next week.

Meeting #1: Tuesday, April 1, 7:00-8:30 p.m.

Meeting #2: Friday, April 4, 12:30-2:00 p.m.

As availability is limited, participants will be selected by a random lottery. Each student participant is required to attend both meetings and to abide by the confidentiality requirements of the search process.

Enter the lottery here . The deadline to enter is Monday, March 31, at noon . Students who are selected to participate in these meetings will be notified by email by 6:00 p.m. on Monday, March 31.

If you have questions, please email . Thank you for your interest.


James J. Valentini

Dean of Columbia College

Henry L. and Lucy G. Moses Professor

Vice President for Undergraduate Education

Mary C. Boyce

Dean of the Fu Foundation School of

Engineering and Applied Science

Morris A. and Alma Schapiro Professor

Never miss an opportunity for a dog picture via Shutterstock

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  • "his or her" says:

    @"his or her" gender binary much?

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous no gay deans

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