Don’t judge a book by its cover

Contrary to popular belief, our beloved administrative behemoth student center has bathrooms. You might have to navigate contradictory signs and even the odd ramp, but for the intrepid pooper lie porcelain thrones beyond your wildest dreams.

Privacy (is this a poop or pee bathroom?)

Equally stellar for either option. The urinals are deep to prevent splash-back and to provide privacy above and beyond what the generous dividers can do. The stalls are well-guarded from outside peepers—if you’re the kind of guy who likes to set up a game of solitaire while he drops bombs, look no further.

The view (windows? scribbles on the walls?)

There are no windows here, but the walls are immaculate and the stalls free from graffiti. The lighting inside the bathroom is a bit harsh, so don’t expect a spa experience, but there’s something to be said for a bathroom that doesn’t seem to hide anything in darkness.

Convenience (is it easy to find, or out of your way?)

A little tricky to get to (up a ramp, through some doors—you figure it out), but this can work in your favor when it comes to…

Traffic (are there a lot of people using it?)

Don’t expect to be much disturbed here, even during peak Ferris hours. If you come at night, you can probably expect to have the place to yourself for upwards of fifteen minutes. Not that we would know.

Cleanliness

Immaculate. The door is a bit grimy, but everything else about the bathroom screams diligent maintenance. Next time you can’t score a seat in Ferris, consider moseying down to your new favorite shit spot; nothing says bohemian like eating on a toilet.

Overall ranking (1-5 stars)

4 stars. Annoyingly out of the way, but that’s part of its charm. Could use some slightly warmer lighting, but we wouldn’t want things to get too romantic, would we?