“This crown will look perfect in my instagram pic!”

Party girl Briana knows how to get down like it is 1999, and Bacchanal will be no exception. As an experienced concert goer, she is sharing her wealth of knowledge on how to ensure a fun time for you and everyone around you this weekend!  

Did you know that Bacchanal is approaching this weekend? Because I sure as hell didn’t!!! However, now that I am aware that a significant amount of people will be flocking to Low Steps and/or the lawns to watch an obscure independent music artist by the name of “Big Sean” this coming Saturday, I am compiling a list that details perfect Bacchanal etiquette. Follow the tips below from a first-year seasoned Bacchanal attendee to ensure that you’re the best audience member Alma has ever seen.

• Post a pic on Instagram and/or add to your Snapchat story every single minute!- Honestly, waving an electronic device in the air so no one behind you can see the actual performer/people are forced to watch a mere recording of the concert is the best way to make new friends. Also, it is encouraged that you post to your numerous social media platforms via an iPad! It may be Apple’s forgotten device, but Steve Jobs himself actually said that it’s the perfect Bacchanal accessory.
• Cry about losing your friends! Or your cell phone! Or your iPad! Or all the above!- Crying is the best way to show that you care, so when you inevitably lose everything valuable to you during the concert, shed a few tears. Everyone will stop to help you GUARANTEED.
• Get on your buddy’s shoulders and cascade a flag of a random country around your body!- Bacchanal? Ultra? What’s the difference, anyway?! As if the iPad in the air wasn’t already enough to make friends with the people behind you, I guarantee that throwing yourself in the air in the name of patriotism is the best way to garner positive attention.
• Scream “OMG! This song is my JAM!!” whenever a new song is performed!- Once you declare this statement, everyone will stop, listen, and evaluate your musical opinions. YOU are the expert, after all.
• Drunkenly ash your cigarette on your friend’s forehead!- Bacchanal falls during Easter weekend this year, so celebrate Ash Wednesday a lil late and ash your drunkenly-consumed cigarette on your BFF’s forehead. Your friend will definitely appreciate your Holi (lol) homage.
• Ask the people next to you if they have *insert substance here*- Show the world that you know how to party! Responsibly!
• Yell out “Freebird!” every time a new performer takes the stage!- 9/10 times Raury, Big Sean, or that other dude will channel their inner Lynyrd Skynyrd and honor your individual song request.