Our freshpeople housing reviews have begun, and up next is the cozy Barnard Quad. This is the only option for all you baby Bears, so get acquainted to this quaint outdoor table setup and overwhelming presence of brick. Read on for specifics, and check back for more housing reviews later on in the week!

Location: Brooks, Reid, Sulzberger Halls, overflow first-year housing in doubles and triples in Hewitt Hall; 3009 Broadway (corner of 116th and Broadway)

• Nearby dorms: Schapiro, the 600s, Claremont, Elliott
• Nearby food: Ollie’s (closed), Vine (also closed), Morton Williams, Hewitt dining hall, Liz’s Place!

Cost: $8,700/year, the standard rate for any multi-occupancy room in Barnard housing system

Amenities

• Bathrooms: Corridor style floor bathrooms, two female-only and two gender-neutral bathrooms per floor. Cleaned everyday by facilities
• AC/Heating: No AC except for in Sulzberger, so make sure you bring three outfits to wear per day during NSOP, and high-class fans. Reid, Hewitt, and Brooks can’t control their heating, so every day that it’s below 55 degrees outside the heat will be blasting regardless. We recommend keeping a window cracked all year cause the Quad gets HOT
• Floor kitchen/lounge: One lounge per floor that has comfy faux-leather couches, a roundtable with chairs, and a fully functional shared kitchen with a stove, microwave, sink, and oven
• Building lounge: There is a carpeted TV lounge on the first floor of Brooks that has couches and a TV and piano, and it connects to a larger, beautiful study lounge primarily stocked with lazy first-years who don’t want to put on clothes/shoes to study. The lobby of Sulzberger has a spread of couches and a large TV that is on at random times with no clear audience
• Computers/Printers: There is a computer lab in the basement of Sulzberger that has reliable computers but not reliable printer use
• Gym: No, but the gym in Barnard Hall is so close by that you can walk there in shorts in the winter and only have your legs exposed for about 7 seconds
• Wifi: Yes, the Barnard internet system
• Floors: Linoleum the color of distilled piss in Brooks, same flooring material for Reid/Sulz except a more aesthetically pleasing white color. Rugs recommended if you want that “comfy and cute” PB Teen dorm room look

Room Variety:

• Mostly doubles in the three buildings with some variation
• All doubles in Reid
• Mixed double/triple in Sulzberger
  • If Barnard has overflow housing (which it probably will again this year), there are forced quads in Sulzberger that were once another TV lounge on the floor. Lucky winners get a humongous room with little privacy, but amazing windows and carpet
• Mixed double/triple/quad in Brooks
  • Standard Brooks quad will have a very narrow common room with the four desks and two (also narrow) double rooms on the side
  • Deviant Brooks quad will be one room (which is much smaller than the Sulz ex-lounges) with four beds, desks, and sets of dressers shoved in there like cattle
  • Doubles in Brooks known to be tiny

Bwog recommedation:

• Well, Barnard first-years, this is your only option but the connected halls really gives you a good communal feel for your first living situation in college.
• Sulz may have better amenities but that’s been traded for a more sterile character. Brooks has beautiful dark oak furniture and sightly lifted beds with adequately sized dressers underneath, and Reid has random wood paneling. You’re sure to find more quirks in your room in Brooks and Reid, which are significantly older buildings than Sulz.
• No one ever ever ever parties in the Quad if they want that party to be sizable, fun, or loud.
• No other Barnard housing option is as convenient as the Quad; you can get to all of your Barnard classes in under 5 minutes and roll out of bed straight into Hewitt dining hall basically.
• The Quad gate (colloquially, “chastity gate”) at the corner of 116th and Broadway is amazing during the daytime and closes at the nighttime hour when you want it open the most.
• Floor bonding varies per year and mostly based on how much your RA cares about facilitating that.
• The Sulz elevators are light years faster than the Brooks ones. Having multiple points of entry is a huuuuge plus in the winter if one entrance is closer than the other!

Resident opinions:

• “My community is all right here!”
• “I haven’t worn shoes in my dorm all year.”
• “I see this one girl on my hall bring a guy into the female-only shower with her all the time.”
• “The RAs on call each night are real hard asses about quiet hours. I’ve gotten written up twice about that.”
• “The laundry closet — not room — on my floor can barely fit myself and my clothes but the Quad is so homey! Yay Barnard!”
• “The vending machines in the basement are so dope. They take your points and there are few other places on campus where first-years can use their points, so I love the pre-paid munchies at my fingertips.”
• “First Year Focus did a superb job matching fucking everyone with their roommate except me.”