Grab a cup of coffee, sit up in bed, and relaxxxxxxxxx, because it’s finally Saturday. You have no responsibilities. No duties. No finals to think about. Just take today to chill.

Bwogline: The New York Times covered our most favorite night of controversy of the semester: Orgo Night. Think they enjoyed getting CUMBed on?

Study Tip: Take a lot of amphetamines. Drink a lot of coffee. Really just keep your mind active #AllDay.

Procrastination Tip: Start a new relationship the week before finals and summer vacation. That’s bound to distract you from the impending doom that is move-out day, right?

Now, how long you ball? How much time you spend at the mall?

Overheard: “Hillary Clinton is a Republican.”