Queen vs. Queen: Today, Queen Elizabeth II surpasses her great-great-grandmother Queen Victoria to become the longest reigning English monarch. Congratulations you old bag! (Wall Street Journal)
Sister vs. Sister: Serena Williams totally unexpectedly beat her sister Venus Williams in the U.S. Open last night and now moves on to the semi-finals.
Christian vs. Christian: The Westboro Baptist Church, in a truly shocking turn of events, attacked anti-gay clerk Kim Davis via Twitter because she is having sex before marriage. We’re just glad to have a new Twitter feud since Nicki-Taylor 2015 cooled off. (Independent Journal)
Husband vs. Father: A man in Detroit was stabbed by his own father-in-law after finding the latter naked in bed with his own wife. (Yeah that sentence was syntactically ambiguous—get over it.) (CBS Local Detroit)
A friendly fire powwow via Shutterstock