Is the food industry just one huge David Lynch side project?

A World Health Organization study linking processed meats and colorectal cancer has been backed by many experts in the field, adding snacks like sausage to the seemingly ever-increasing list of Things That Can Give You Cancer. Don’t fret too much though–the risk is minimal in comparison to, say, smoking a pack of Marlboros. (Mercury News)

And don’t immediately dive for the veggie sausage either–meat (and HUMAN DNA??) was found in 10% of “vegetarian” meats studied. Though it’s doubtful that the DNA was placed there by a crafty cannibal and more likely that a factory worker chipped a nail into the food, the study is a reminder that gross things are everywhere. Great. (Daily Mail)

Our amiable northern neighbors have crafted a delicate and refined treat that only the most esoteric gourmands can truly appreciate… just kidding, an Ontario fast food chain shoved some peanut butter cups into a burger and called it a day. “Oh, Canada” indeed! (Time)

Professional Food Forecasters (possibly the most pretentious job on earth?) have predicted that 2016 will be the year of food delivery and fried chicken. Keep talking, PFFs… (Eater)

Meat Eater via Shutterstock