You will never be Alfalfa and we will always be the triumphant Darla

Who let the boys out of the sad, decrepit frat house/EC suite? And into an equally depressing fort on the Barnard Quad? This poor pledging tactic alerted the inner Gloria Steinem of Staff Writer and Barnard Quad-dweller Asya Sagnak to speak of these menacing men and their stupid demonstrations. 

Bwog has received photos and updates from what seems to be a men’s rights demonstration on the Barnard campus. It looks like some frat pledges have decided to remind Barnard students why they chose to apply to Barnard in the first place with a big, menacing show of masculinity: a blanket fort in the middle of the Quad.

The “protest” began at 10:30pm with a group of around seven boys huddled underneath Avengers themed blankets and outdoor wooden furniture. A dryer rack held up their collective motto: “NO GIRLS ALOUD”. When asked whether the misspelling of “ALOUD” was for comedic effect, the group began to sing along to Miley Cyrus, ignoring all other comments and questions.

After realizing that they had attracted a crowd, the boys sent out a “representative” who tried to lobby for the repeal of the 19th Amendment – women’s suffrage. “If you’re agreeing to being segregated in your own university, you should be cool with this,” he said, waving around his empty petition paper with no signatures. “I’m being serious. Sign for equality.”

Any attempts from Barnard students to infiltrate the tent were met with high-pitched screams and kicks. From far away, one might have mistaken the boys for literal children, and poor reenactors of cult classic The Little Rascals. One girl kicked down their sign, to which they responded by threatening to perform the “Penis Monologues”.

Around half an hour later, and after repeated warnings from surrounding staff members, the event was shut down by a guard from Sulzberger. The small white boys revealed their fragile egos by complaining about “police brutality,” which got them forcibly removed off campus. They packed up their Toys-R-Us blankets and walked out of the quad, dejected, back to their homes across Broadway. One boy yelled “BOY-NARD FOREVER” as he walked out . Everyone else in the Quad chuckled with second-hand embarrassment.

Soon after, Bwog heard word that the Quad had been egged. A parting gift of the Rascals? A Barnard girl’s attempt to protect her space? A message from the gods, warning us that they had been angered by this night of overall disgrace to the BC campus? We don’t know. What we do know was that this felt a lot more like 2008 than 2015. Get it together, frat boys. If you’re going to embarrass pledges, at least do it creatively – midterm season is tough enough without having to deal with outdated social commentary by way of sloppy execution.

Update, 12:47 am: Various sources from both outside testimony and those on scene have confirmed that these boys are pledging AEPi.

Correction, October 21: The students involved are allegedly associated with AEPi according to various sources and those on the scene. There is no confirmation that the students are pledges.