Wonder what a former Blue and White editor has to say about being a student at Columbia? Check out former B&W EIC Hallie Nell Swanson’s take on senior wisdom.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Hallie Nell Swanson; CC; Comparative Literature and Society; London, England

Claim to fame: Doing a bunch of publications stuff, and being the other Swanson.

Where are you going? Right now, to Orgo Night. In the longish run: to graduation, and then home, and then we’ll see.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2020?

1) If you don’t like your life, it’s up to you to change it. If you find that the work you’re doing isn’t what you want to be doing, that the people you’re around aren’t the people you want to be around, that the person you are isn’t the person you want to be, fix it. College is far too early in your life to be compromising on any of that. In this respect, the independence Columbia offers is a double-edged sword. It can be isolating and lonely—I struggled with that, and rushed stuff as a result. But if you resist that urge, what’s good about Columbia is that you can carve out your own niche rather than contorting into an uncomfortable mold.

2) Cultivate yourself. When you arrive here, you are most likely a product of exactly where you came from. One filled with potential, but predictable and boring nonetheless. While you’re here, you can expose yourself to things you haven’t encountered before, whether that’s through friendships, through reading, through classes, or through any of the many events that happen here every day. Do it. That said, easy narratives abound here, and they come in several bland flavors, from frat boy to econ-poli sci to sophomore class page activist. If you find yourself surrounded by too many people who will just react with ‘this’ or ‘yaaas’ or ‘fuck [thing]’ to everything you say, and you find yourself doing it back, you can be having better conversations.

3) Use your resources. I’m writing this precisely because I don’t do nearly enough of it, so I can’t advise you on exactly how. But Columbia has a ton of fellowships just waiting to chuck money at people, professors who can adopt and guide you if you’d only show up at their office hours, free shit everywhere if you look for it (if you’re in CUSP, put up with the tedium). Sign up for every listserv, apply to every program, get coffee with everyone. It will benefit you—I’m sure it could have benefited me, if I’d bothered.

“Back in my day…” You could find me every Thursday at The Abbey, which didn’t card. Spec was daily, the Dark Hand was in action, and Bwog comments blew up. Sweetgreen was UNI Cafe, where I’d get my hangover bagel and coconut water rather than sit and wonder what an Earth Bowl is. There was a pizza truck outside Lerner that told my roommate in my absence that I “went there every day.” And Arts and Crafts was Camille’s, where an emeritus professor got me eggs on toast and told me not to do “another thesis on Manto” while I was writing a paper on Manto.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer. I trolled too hard, my native country got very offended, and then PrezBo apologized more about a crap statue than about literally anything else he’s ever done.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Two classes with visiting professors (no offense CU), so good luck taking these! Islam in India Since 1526 with Taylor Sherman from the London School of Economics, and Pakistan in Modern South Asia with Nosheen Ali from Habib University.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese is amazing. And there are few things better than cheese made with enthusiasm, talent, and attentiveness. If you are tempted to give up “cheese” for this question, I strongly suggest, for your own benefit, that you expand your culinary horizons before making this commitment. Explore, learn what you like, communicate with your cheese monger or cheese mongers, do some research, practice with yourself, and get into it. It can help to have lots of cheese of just one type; when people know a cheese’s contours and delights so intimately, they learn so much about what they like and how to get pleasing current or future cheeses. It can also help to have many different types of cheese; you will try different flavors, rhythms, shapes, and moods; you may discover some wonderful new things, and will definitely have fun. I would, without hesitation, give up oral sex, chocolate, air conditioning, Netflix, and Christmas before I would give up good cheese. Columbia friends, my sincere hope is that someday we will all get to enjoy the kind of awesome, delicious cheese that we would never give up for oral sex. (However, crappy cheese is tedious. I once ordered a blowjob on Tinder while eating old cheddar.)

One thing to do before graduating: Have at least one, ideally several, utterly pointless, absurd, excessive nights out. I think raging is very important for the spirit. You are young! Stop saying you’re tired!

Any regrets? Oh, tons. I regret not being diligent enough and I regret not being reckless enough. I regret taking a bunch of niche classes rather than foundational or popular ones, and I also regret taking most of the lectures I did. I regret never spending a summer in New York, but I regret not keeping in touch with family more while I was here. I regret not doing the work to develop closer relationships with my professors, and I regret not putting in more effort with people I’d have liked to be better friends with. On the whole, though, I think I had a good run.

Troll hard rage hard via Hallie Nell Swanson