No one would ever find out.

Very fittingly, Halloween this year lands on a Monday when most of us feel like semi-functional, hungover zombies from a weekend of regrettable revelries and moral degradation. While most people would have no problem resuming their human form, some are just not ready for real-world responsibilities and a gazillion haunting problem sets due next week. If you are one of those people who has masterfully deceived yourself into thinking you have time for any of this nonsense and wishes to extend the festivity into your classes, here are a few last-minute ~spooky~ costume suggestions that even your professor would (not) love:

• Lit Hum: Throw on a toga and transform into the Dead White Dude that your class is currently reading. Instead of referring back to the author’s name, say “I” to assert your authorship over your classmates. Be dramatically offended whenever someone in the class calls you a misogynist, racist, or whatever-ist.
• Principles of Econ: Dress up in a triangular cylinder. You are now dead weight loss.
• 8:40’s : Draw realistic eyes on your eyelids, because you know you’ll be dozing off. Your professor might be tricked into believing that you are the only one awake and give you extra goodies.
• Any cultural/language class: Don’t do it. Instead of spooking others, you will end up being spooked by how your fellow Columbians react.

Subtlety via Georgiana Ionita