Low Beach or South Beach?

Spring has sprung, Columbia! We hope you were able to spend some much-needed time outside this weekend enjoying the beautiful weather. But, if you weren’t, you were probably getting drunk and finding yourself in weird situations. Maybe all of the above. Here are this weekend’s field notes

Spring Break?:

• Went to a beach back home and got caught trespassing. The cop gave me a $75 parking ticket.
• Got day drunk on Saturday and blacked out between 6 and 7 pm, apparently took a shower with my friend, then made my way (alone) from NYU to 72nd street and Broadway, somehow transferring from the NQR to the 123 but I have no recollection.
• Went gallery hopping on Thursday. Got pretty drunk on the free wine. Ran into girl who’s friends with my old roommate, had awkward conversation in which I think she implied my roommate really disliked me but can’t be sure because was drunk.
• Went to Long Island for the tail end of President’s weekend where I got wine drunk and passed out with Montaigne and my anxiety meds in the sun room.
• Visited DUMBO, Brooklyn with my best friends!
• Saw a pug in DUMBO and screamed “DUMBO PUGGO!”
• Went to Massachusetts, where there’s still so much snow on the ground! Neat.

There is literally no unifying theme here (except maybe alcohol):

• Bought my friend drinks and she accidentally venmo’d me $300 instead of $30 to pay me back.
• Played four square. But not middle school four square – adult four square. The kind of four square that can leave the floor of an EC suite absolutely soaked in alcohol.
• Got a Tinder after a long period of wishing I met more people but not doing anything about it. Already hate it and have received a number of vulgar comments.
• Got really high and watched Psycho. 11/10 would recommend.
• A mouse died in my room, took us almost 24 hours to figure out the source of the smell (RIP).
• Took a shit in a West Elm bathroom.
• Ate at another college’s dining hall, and they were just serving mac and cheese. Nothing else.
• Forced 90+ fraternity guys to sit and listen to talks about queering Greek life and trans inclusivity.
• Went to a glow stick and then toga party in EC wearing a lax pinnie which got me into yet another confrontation in Mel’s.
• Got an email from my French professor asking why I half-ass my online homework.