Really going wild this spring break.

And we back, bitches! Bwog hopes you had a warm, wet, and wild spring break! Here’s just a little taste of what we were up to…

Warm

• Went to Florida with friends like a cliché college student and got a sunburn the first day like a typical white.
• Lounged in Vondelpark chain-smoking joints under the afternoon sun.
• Got hella burned in Miami, which turned into a very nice tan until my entire chest and shoulder area peeled.
• Was thousands of miles away from the NYC blizzard.

Wet

• Gave numerous bodily fluids (pee, blood, puke) to the Atlantic Ocean.
• Lied about liking beer.
• ​Didn’t drink a drop of alcohol this Spring Break. Oops?
• Didn’t get rained on by a drop of water (or snow) this Spring Break. Not oops.
• Finally went skinny dipping.
• Successfully *didn’t* fall into an Amsterdam canal.

Wild

• Played Paranoia (drinking game) and found out all my friends think I’m most likely to get knocked up first. (Good reminder to take my birth control! yikes!)
• Spent one night in a NYC hotel, got Chinese food delivered straight to the door, ate it naked in bed while watching Rushmore. Truly the height of luxury.
• Did psychedelics for the first time. Highly recommend.
• Was not sober for a single 24-hour period between Thursday March 9th and today (Monday March 20th).
• Showed up to the airport drunk to fly to Miami.
• Had a very fun St. Patrick’s Day when I woke up with a wicked hangover. But, my friend dragged me to Mel’s where between me and two Fiji boys we finished two whole pitchers of beer.
• Saw the parade and drank more at an Irish pub in Midtown where I danced with a very energetic (and cute!) Irishman (like, FROM from ireland, visiting New York).
• Saw our lord and savior, Tim Tebow, God’s favorite son, in person.
• Held someone’s snake.
• Got locked out of my Airbnb within two hours of arriving.

Photo via me, bitch.