Probably the most productive thing done at that booth

Helen Cane tells us the importance of activism and orgasms. Happy Friday :-) 

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Helen Cane, Barnard College, Economics, Palo Alto, California

Claim to fame: Co-founder of Divest Barnard from fossil fuels campaign. Barnard Writing Fellow. Well Woman Peer Educator. You may have seen me doing homework or compiling Disorientation Guides in 1020 because I’m a masochist, but I like beer.

Where are you going? To Durham, NC to join the Revolution and learn to fix cars.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?
1) Learn the history of student dissent at Columbia in 1932, 1968, 1984, etc. Learn about the many students who fought personal battles here. There have been so many incredible people who have come through this institution and struggled for their visions of justice, of inclusion, of recognition, for basic rights for themselves and others. In many ways, these students made this school what it is and are the shoulders we stand on today. In many ways, these students’ legacies have also been coopted by the school and turned into selling points—it’s important to understand the difference between honoring struggle and coopting it, and I think one of the best ways to truly understand this school is to understand the fights that took place to shape it.

2) Masturbating is a better stressbuster than Insomnia cookies.

3) I came to Barnard thinking it would be a radical feminist utopia where everyone was committed to a vision of justice, professors and administrators would be eager for critique, and caring for each other’s physical and mental well-being would be an obvious priority. This isn’t what Barnard is, and finding this out over the course of my first year was hard. But, this school is also full of amazing people, and many of my strongest friendships have started by meeting people completely randomly and realizing that they share goals I thought only I had. I’ve also made some of my closest friendships as a Senior, with people I literally hadn’t seen on campus until this year. So, I wish I could have told my first-year self: the people you’re looking for are out there, and you probably won’t find them right away. But when you do, you’ll know it, because they aren’t judgmental assholes.

“Back in my day…” Socialism wasn’t hip, Barnard had a library and we didn’t have a meme page to share our collective manic behavior and mental health issues.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Divest Barnard for a Just Transition.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Vocal Repertoire and Technique with Jean-Paul Bjorlin. He started every class with 45 minutes of very intense yoga—I definitely got in the best shape I’ve been in the semester I took that class—and singing alone in front of a class twice a week was one of the most liberating and grounding exercises I’ve had to do in a class.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? When I was a naïve first year I thought the right answer to this was to give up oral sex, because cheese is basically one of my major food groups. Thankfully I realized that cheese is much less effective in achieving orgasm. The correct answer is to give up cheese.

One thing to do before graduating: Win trivia night at 1020. Tell lots of people how much I appreciate them. Somehow pack-up four years of crap into a little car the morning after grad.

Any regrets? I wish I had learned to be less judgmental and more patient with people earlier. I wish I’d gotten to know more professors. I wish I’d gone to more free performances and talks. I wish I’d found more ways to get free money from the school. I probably shouldn’t have been an Economics major.