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Senior Wisdom: Ricky Wolff

Say (EC)heese!

Here is a byline for probably the shortest senior wisdom ever. We love it though. Congrats, Ricky :’) 

Name, College, Major, Hometown: Richard Wolff; Columbia College; Math/Counting Studies; Winesburg, Ohio

Claim to Fame: Pretty tall. Stares in Butler.

Where are you going? Why do you want to know

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2021?

1) Sell out.

2) Go down.

3) Grow up.

Also, finish your language requirement before you’re a second semester senior.

“Back in my day…” Cannons was for sex pots, not hot pots. RIP.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer. I pay Student Life Fees, therefore I am.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Algebraic Topology. I’d explain but you wouldn’t understand because you study like history or whatever.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Oral sex

One thing to do before graduating: Ecclesiastes

Any regrets? Not having got IB job at Goldman Sachs. Also, not having played a show with my four-piece jazz combo, the Gold Man Sax.

Not even gonna give this one a jump via Ricky

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11 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous This guy DID stare in Butler!!!!

    1. Why do you want to know says:

      @Why do you want to know this guy did more than stare in Butler. eye game strong

  • @Sarah Stevenson He knows how to make a girl moan in bed, let me tell you that!

    1. Magic says:

      @Magic i wish i could thumbs down this comment multiple times

      1. 1 + 1 = 4 says:

        @1 + 1 = 4 Because it is true? It is a compliment. I am pretty sure this kid lived above in Carman and I would always hear sounds coming from the ceiling. When I see him, all I think of is, “BODY FLUIDS”.

        1. Magic says:

          @Magic Oh yeah, that Hillary for Prison t-shirt really makes me wet. Idk about you tho.
          Pretty sure those sounds from the ceiling were just him grunting in preparation for those 4:45 AM football practices. Gotta stay in #BEASTmode.

          1. Ricky says:

            @Ricky I have feelings too

  • The Byrds says:

    @The Byrds these answers make me proud to know this man #GoldManSacks

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous He’s actually really hot in like a depressed gaunt chic type of way. The under bags under his eyes are really sexy. But you know he’s the type of bad boy you could never bring home to your mother but you would still go on a date with him anyway

  • @Quandtum Physics I will senior scramble but only to suck him off, no more.

  • @Plutonian Physics He is always in 209. Good kid. Only funny senior wisdom so far. I honestly wish someone would post the ZRS one just for a nice throwback.

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