Does the other side of your room always look like this, too?
After a semester of living together, I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the signs of an impending apocalypse is a night where my roommate comes back to our room before me. No matter if it’s the weekend or a week day, no matter if I get back 8 pm or 3 am, she’s still out, studying in Butler or hanging out with her friends because she’s both a better student and more social than me. However, I feel like there could be an alternative explanation, and I’ve spent the last several months wondering: where could my roommate be going at night? Here are the possibilities I’ve come up with:
The most obvious: she’s a vampire or werewolf and doesn’t want me to know.
Less obvious: she’s a Gremlin, and is attempting to convince the JJ’s staff to feed her after midnight.
She’s pretending to be enrolled at NYU and has to spend the night there to keep up appearances.
There are 9 feral turtles that live in the John Jay basement, and she feeds them at night,
She’s attempting to recreate the first splitting of the atom in the Pupin Basement.
We’ve got a 12 Dancing Princesses situation going on, and she’s dancing the night away in the tunnels under Columbia.
By day, she’s a Columbia student. By night, she’s working undercover with Public Safety to uncover the source of the weed smell that permeates all of Carman.
She secretly hates me and never wants to see my face.