Prepare yourself.

If you had tried to take the subway last weekend, you might’ve discovered that the 1 line was actually not running between 96 and 137th streets. In the interest of preparing our readers for another inevitable MTA disaster, we wanted to provide you with some practical, little-known transportation alternatives to the subway:

• Wait until Thanksgiving and ride on a Macy’s float. This option is both festive and fun – plus, you get a great view of the city! Just requires a little bit of patience.
• Pretend to break your leg, call CAVA. Or you could actually break your leg (maybe it’ll get you out of your midterms!)
• Steal a Canada Goose and sell it to pay for Uber. Materials needed: eBay, working Uber app, any KDR party.
• Jump on the roof of a car and hang on real tight. Self-explanatory, but definitely not for the faint of heart.
• Magic carpet. Aladdin isn’t only for kids anymore!
• Hope the Manhattanville Public Safety shuttle comes at some point (spoiler: it won’t). They’ll probably call you an NYPD cop car instead.
• Grow some wings and fly. Make like Icarus and have a go at it!
• Jump on the back of a delivery bike. Especially as snowstorms plague NYC this weekend and as New Yorkers everywhere are ordering Seamless, we find this option particularly viable.
• Walk. You have two legs; use them.
• Real answer: you can take the M104 to 96th. Not that the rest of these answers weren’t real.

Which circle of hell is the MTA???? via Youngking11 on Wikimedia [CC BY-SA 3.0]