I personally don’t get the hype

A few weeks ago, CCSC held a pre-Bacchanal giveaway that featured limited-edition, free Columbia bucket hats and fanny packs. Little did they know, they would spur a storm of demand for these bucket hats that continued even after Bacchanal ended (who knew the bucket hat demographic was such a large one on campus?). Soon after, Columbia Class Facebook pages began to be populated by posts like these:

Being the opportunistic Econ major that I am, I had somehow finessed both a bucket hat AND a fanny pack from the giveaway, and I decided to take advantage of my luck to ask the Class of 2021 and my fellow Bwog staffers – what would you give for a Columbia bucket hat and a fanny pack? Here are some of the responses I received.

• A summer finance internship
• “I would wrench my soul back from this goddamn northeastern desert resort and commodify it to sell to you”
• An unopposed CCSC position
• Meal swipes
• Weed
• My first-born child
• An armful of stolen oranges from Ferris
• A spot in Prezbo’s class
• My blossoming Adderall addiction
• “I would pay a bowl of Diana oatmeal”
• $3
• $5
• $10
• $12
• “I’d give a hefty dollar for the hat”
• One Bwogger responded, “I would pay $5 to never need to hear about Columbia bucket hats ever again.”

In short, I am selling my limited edition set for a total of $50, plus all the items listed above. Please contact jenny@bwog.com if interested. Serious inquiries only.