Ross Chapman spent three years as Bwog’s Sports Editor, which, because this is Bwog, meant he spent three years as Bwog’s entire sports section. We will miss him for his intense basketball statistics, his weird memes, and his big, big heart.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Ross Chapman, Columbia College, Music, West Windsor, NJ
Claim to Fame: I yelled at all of you from Butler Library for the inaugural outdoor Orgo Night with the Marching Band. I probably gave you a backrub at some point through Stressbusters. If you’re really special, then you know me as the former president of the Wind Ensemble. And I’ve written about 200 articles for Bwog, the website you are currently on!
Where are you Going?: I’m heading up to Northampton, MA to live with my girlfriend as she finishes college. Eventually, I hope to go back to school, get my JD, and become the law.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?
1. Take it easy in any way you can. Between your jobs, your clubs, your classes, and your social links, you’ll have to split a lot of energy, and you only have so much. Sleep as much as you can, and admit that you are not one of the 3% of people who can get by on 6 hours per night. Don’t take more classes than you need to graduate unless you absolutely love them. Don’t give your time to clubs that aren’t giving you anything in return. Go get dinner with a friend instead of claiming you “need to study” while you stare at a wall for an hour. This University seeps enough fun and energy out of you, so make sure you do what you can to make your time here enjoyable.
2. Don’t get defensive. When somebody attacks you or your groups, they’re probably doing that for a reason. If someone says you’re being offensive, don’t shut them down. If someone says you’re not doing enough, consider their perspective. This doesn’t mean that you have to be a doormat and do whatever you’re told, or that all criticism is valid. But try not to dismiss anything out of hand. (As a side-note: thank you to everyone who protests the actions of fellow students on campus. You will be shouted down, and your change may not come quickly, but you are making an enormous difference for everybody.)
3. Don’t hold grudges. There is so little in this world worth holding a grudge over. The emotional jolt you may get from telling someone off or conspiring against them may be fun, but it won’t make anyone’s life any better or any easier. Seek out win-win situations, and compromise when you can. Apologize. Don’t be petty. If someone really has done something inexcusable, cut them out of your life, but don’t seek out more revenge. An eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind, or something.
4. (Don’t take any advice as the gospel, not even this point.)
“Back in My Day…” Hartley Hospitality Desk gave out free 3-ply toilet paper. Bored@Butler was the premier website for anonymous Columbia advice. Barnard students weren’t allowed into JJ’s, and JJ’s was temporarily in John Jay. Ferris’s second floor was a nightmarish hellscape of the wild west. Orgo Night was/wasn’t/was/wasn’t in Butler 209.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: When I got hit by a car sophomore year, I apologized to the person who hit me.
What was your favorite class at Columbia? My answer to this question since my first semester has been Philosophy and Feminism with Christia Mercer. Professor Mercer is funny, fiery, and doesn’t take any crap from the class. It was a pain to read Judith Butler in my first semester, but Mercer made it worth it. My favorite class in my department was Topics in Music and Society with Aaron Fox. I encourage anyone who wants to take a class in Music to avoid anything that focuses only on the Western Music Canon. While those are fun for the music majors, you may more enjoy a class that gives you the vocabulary to talk about other genres.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? At least giving up cheese only affects me.
Whom would you like to thank? I’d like to thank all of my student groups, and every member of them, for making my time at Columbia worthwhile and fun. Special thanks go to four people here who have made my four years so great – Morgan “Human Dachshund” Apostle, Dylan “Bougiest Binch” Sachs, Abby “Class of ’83” Rubel, and Betsy “Tree-in-Chief” Ladyzhets. I’d like to thank Bored@Butler, Twitch, and Netflix for giving companionship late into the night. I’d like to thank every professor who has ever extended a deadline. And I’d like to thank Daniella Paradise for being my best friend, my muse, and my stress-ShamWow for the last three years.
One thing to do before graduating: Go get a massage, or otherwise treat yourself, during finals week. Take the time during the busiest time of the year to let yourself breathe. And if you can’t get out to a spa, just go to orgo night!
Any regrets? I regret not supporting my friends better. When you mess up your own life, you can get over it. But when you fail to make a loved one’s life better, you can’t get over it for them. They have to get over it, and it sucks, and even if they do get over it, you keep thinking about how much better they could be doing. I am sorry to my friends for any time I wasn’t there when you needed me most.
[screaming] via CUMB