Please, let all of our classes be only half an hour long today

Let’s be honest. For most of us, the first week of classes is actually pretty chill. We shop a few lectures, collect a few syllabi, and catch up with friends we haven’t seen all summer. Our professors, on the other hand, are desperately trying to hide the fact that they’ve thrown together their opening lectures in the past twelve hours. To distract their classes, they might open with a weird anecdote, try to make analogies to pop culture, or even throw memes into their slides. (That, or you’ll get a professor who’s been tenured for so long, they don’t give a shit what they tell students.)

Either way, we want to hear all of the weird things your professors say during this first week, when half of their students might drop their course at any moment. Send the wildest opening remarks you hear to tips@bwog.com or through our anonymous form, or comment them on this post. Don’t worry, we won’t tell your professors you helped us mock them.

please via public domain pictures