these stock photo students must be reading Bwog ;)

Bwog likes to think of itself as the friend who has seen you through it all: the end of a long-distance relationship, the messy nights at Amity Hall, food poisoning from Ferris shrimp tacos, the homesickness. Though it is nearing midterms and just that awkward time of year where no one wants to meet new people, we won’t let you stay friendless in FroSci.

1. Start stealing people’s possessions. This is a great conversation starter. When they ask where their stuff is going, you can pretend to help them look. Also, let things get progressively weirder. Start with pens but make your way toward more auspicious items, like entire backpacks or passion planners.
2. Pretend you have a crush on your professor. This is a great bonding technique. This forbidden love and its manifestations of in-class fantasies and chronic punctuality unite classmates of all demographics. Hot professors are hot professors.
3. Alternatively, make quips about how much you hate your professor. They’ve been studying this material for 2 decades, but that doesn’t make them impermeable to an undergrad’s critiques. People love sarcasm and nihilistic humor is in, so don’t be afraid to turn to your neighbor and say, “get a load of this absolute asshole.”
4. Take advantage of forced partnerships. No, these aren’t fun and no, Bwog doesn’t endorse them, but they will happen so you might as well get something out of it. Talk to your partner after class, follow up, friend them on Facebook. This is probably hard for a majority of Columbia’s population, but be nice, say hi, and most importantly, remember people’s names.
5. Become the snack plug. If you’ve ever opened a pack of gum in high school, you know what this feels like. We’re going to take this to another level and make it something you should want to do: share. Bring cookies to class and ask if your neighbor wants one. Bring your illegal John Jay chocolate muffins to class and tell people they’re still warm. People may confuse you for another type of plug, but that’s okay–it’ll put you in even higher demand.