when will he FUCKING LEAVE

Your roommate is having their boyfriend over, a perfectly innocent thing to do. However, there is a time limit on how long he can be in your room without it starting to irk you, and you’re just about getting to that point. Here are some of the ways you can send a subtle, yet impactful message that maybe it’s time to wrap it up.

• The classic: passive aggressive notes.
• Send them some tips on how to turkey drop like it’s hot.
• Make an effort to incorporate “I hate men” into every sentence you say around them.
• Every time he walks into the room, make a weird face and spray Febreeze in his direction.
• Move all of his stuff into the hallway.
• Tell your roommate you don’t like their boyfriend’s aura.
• Demand he bring you a gift every time he comes to the room.
• Pester him about his birthday so you can make his birth chart, then loudly announce that whatever he’s doing is because of the stars.
• Get a scary voodoo doll of him and stick more pins in it every time he is there.
• Call him, cry, tell him you’re in love with your roommate and having him around vexes you. (It works)
• Constantly shake burning sage in his face. (Note: Bwog does not endorse shaking burning things in people’s faces.)
• Interrupt everything they say to each other with “NOW KISS!!”
• Play “Kiss the girl” from The Little Mermaid loudly and on repeat.

Photo via Bwog Archives